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“Worth It”: Mom With Down Syndrome Raises Son Who Also Has Down Syndrome

It was less common than it used to be in the 1990s for a single adult woman to be shunned when she became pregnant out of wedlock, but that’s what happened to Lisa Newtop. Even though she was 30 years old with a long-term boyfriend, many of her friends pulled away. The reason? Lisa has Down Syndrome, the most common chromosomal disorder. Her friends’ parents were afraid she’d be a bad influence.

It used to be common for people with Down Syndrome to be forcibly sterilized. Thankfully that is no longer the case, but it’s still rare for them to start their own families. However, Lisa had a pillar of unwavering support to help her bring her son into the world: her own mom, Patti.

Patti told TODAY that she was herself relatively newly married when Lisa’s bombshell news took her by surprise. She and her new husband Norm had plans to travel and see the world. Then she got a voicemail message from her daughter.

“I was checking my messages at work, and there was this message from Lisa saying, ‘Hi, mom. I just wanted to call to let you know that you’re going to be the grandmother,’” Patti said.

In shock, she listened to the message three times, then called Lisa’s social worker for confirmation. The grandmother-to-be was totally bowled over. She was even afraid her husband Norm would leave her if she committed to helping Lisa raise the baby.

“This was way more than he had bargained for,” she said. But Norm was ready to stand by his woman, her daughter, and their unborn grandchild. “He looked at me and he said, ‘No matter what you decide to do, I’m going to be there for you,’” Patti recalled.

The loss of support from Lisa’s community of friends with Down Syndrome was painful. “They were afraid that Lisa would influence their daughters. And that was very lonely for her,” says Patti. She and Norm jumped into action to provide added support for Lisa, including hiring a doula to teach her about pregnancy and childbirth.

On February 10, 1996, Lisa and her boyfriend Tim joyously welcomed a baby boy, Nic, who also has Down Syndrome. Lisa took to motherhood naturally in many respects, Patti says, but she had a hard time when Nic would cry. “She assumed he was in pain, and she felt responsible,” Patti says. “She couldn’t grasp that babies just cry, often for no reason at all.”

Photo courtesy of Patti White
Jenny Rapson
Jenny Rapsonhttp://www.foreverymom.com
Jenny Rapson is a wife and mom of three from Ohio and the editor of For Every Mom. You can also find her alternately griping and gushing about her kids at her own blog, Mommin' It Up. You can email her at jrapson@outreach.com, or follow her on Twitter.

Toddler Hugs the Pizza Delivery Man Who’d Recently Lost His Daughter

Since the pandemic, delivery workers have increased exponentially, from delivery of groceries to take out to the classic delivery: pizza. And these delivery people...

Son Rushed to ER for ‘Breathing Funny’—Then Mom Finds Out Who Her Ex-Husband Left Him Alone With

They told me his injuries were consistent with shaken baby syndrome. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. My ex husband left our son with that woman even after he promised he wouldn't.

Sisters’ Hilarious Video Confession to Late Mom Has the Internet Rolling

Sisters Sara Wollner and Katie Wiggins are finding new ways to grieve after losing their mom Karen to pancreatic cancer in 2022. In November, they filmed a hilarious viral video with confessions to their late mom.