We started overnight visits then eventually on March 16, 2018 Mercedes came to live with us. The girls and little Eli were all so excited. So now at this point it was me, a single mom 30 years old with 3 children ranging from 1 to 15. What was I thinking?
You know what I was thinking? I love these kids and I wouldn’t have it any other way. They needed a home and I had more than enough to give them. They immediately became a part of my family. My family does not see color, just kids that needed someone. Yes I have had my fair share of stares while we’re out in public, but we just keep walking by unbothered. I’ve had people ask me, ‘Oh, are you babysitting?’ and my response is no, they are my children. No questions asked. I never say ‘foster children,’ but my children. Because that’s what they are and always will be.
When the children found out they could be adopted, I asked them if it was okay if I adopted them. No one had to think of their answers; it was an immediate YES! We talked to the caseworker about adoption and she never had a doubt in her mind that we would be together forever. She kept asking, ‘Where have they been hiding you?’ We were all so excited for this process to begin.
The adoption process was very intense and A LOT of paperwork. They asked the children if they wanted to keep their last names or change them. They would take the children and talk to them to make sure it was really what they wanted. I often thought to myself, ‘Am I enough? Can I give them what they really need?’ Well, guess what? I can do that and more. It’s unbelievable how much support I have in my family. They always have my back no matter what, even when I had people asking, ‘Are you sure about adoption? That means you will be financially responsible for them, you know that right?’ ‘You don’t think three children is a lot?’ But none of that stuff mattered to me! The way they lit up with excitement when they found out it was happening will forever be one of the best memories.
November 1, 2019 was one of the best days of our lives. The day we became Team Engleman! I went from just me to being a family of four. This is not the end either, but right now we are enjoying each other.
What I want to say to all the people who gave me negative comments after seeing that I, a black woman, adopted 3 white children: I am doing something that most couldn’t do. These children are in a great home with a loving mother. Love has no color in my home and they are loved unconditionally. I’ve been talked about all my life and that has never stopped me from doing what I was put here to do. I have a purpose and I plan to fulfill it! If you are considering fostering or adopting I say go for it, if it’s in your heart to do it. Just knowing that you have helped a boy or girl find a home and a reason to be happy is one of the best feelings in the world. It doesn’t matter if you’re single, divorced, married, black or white. You can change someone’s life!
