I have mentioned before that just as a woman desires to feel loved, your husband equally desires to feel respected. Respect, in all forms, speaks volumes to men and often results in them feeling worthy of their wife’s affections.
As you can imagine, talking about this with my husband stirred up some really important conversations between the two of us and I’m really glad that it did! Sometimes we can be so blinded to our own shortcomings that we have to take the time to ask our spouses to boldly and lovingly share them with us.
10 Ways You’re Unknowingly Disrespecting Your Husband
1. Emotional Manipulation of Your Husband
Do you ever use your moods to control your husband’s response? For example: Have you ever responded curtly with, “Nope. It’s fine. I don’t care” — when it actually isn’t fine and you do care? Guilt trips, using the words “always” and “never”, aggression or passive aggression, the silent treatment, doling out ultimatums, crying for pity or exaggerating disappointment are many of the ways that women emotionally manipulate their spouses.
Friends, I want to encourage you to use your words. Be honest in the disappointment or sadness that you feel — nobody is telling you to suppress your emotions — but there is a boundary in knowing what you are saying to help your marriage versus what you are saying to control your marriage.
2. Mothering Your Husband
Okay, guys, I can be such a mom — in every sense of the word. But gosh, it’s damaging, and especially to my marriage. We have gotten to a place where I have recognized that this is a struggle for me and am actively choosing my words [and] actions more wisely, but that hasn’t always been the case. And I believe in many marriages, the wife acts like her husband’s mother, but because she thinks that it’s what’s ‘best’, she avoids the issue and drains her husband of all independence and joy.
If you are regularly telling your husband what’s best for him or making your own convictions his convictions, it’s likely that you’re playing the role of ‘mom’ rather than the role of ‘wife’. This tends to make a man feel smaller and smaller in his role as your protector.