3. Aggression Toward Your Husband
Using aggression as a means of fighting or getting our way won’t ever allow our husbands to win. If he responds with meekness or silence, we make him out to be a coward. If he responds with anger, we make him out to be a bully. If you need space after an argument because aggression tends to be your go-to, then take time away before you come back together. ‘My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” (James 1:19-1:20).
4. Smothering Your Husband
Jesse and I have an ‘open phone’ policy and over-compensate when it comes to asking hard questions and telling hard truths. However, there comes a point when ‘openness’ becomes ‘obsession’ and ‘asking’ becomes ‘smothering’. I have always said that if either party in the marriage truly wants to go out and have an affair, there’s no amount of snooping that anyone can do to stop it.
But even more importantly, you should fight for your marriage. If you struggle with trust issues, don’t smother your husband with prying questions to make him feel as if he’s done something wrong, only because you assume he has. First — pray for his heart and entrust him to God. Secondly, step out and speak to a couple or counselor who would be willing to hold both of you accountable and to help you walk through the trust issues that you face.
5. Criticizing Your Husband
This one speaks for itself. If you spend the majority of your time criticizing the things that your spouse has done wrong rather than praising the things that they have done right, it’s likely that they feel as if they won’t ever be good enough for you. Your words have the power to destroy or build them up. Challenge yourself each day to voice ten positive things about your husband for every criticism you give.
6. Undermining Your Husband
This is a big one in a lot of marriages. Undermining your husband, especially as a father, teaches your children that he is not competent and shouldn’t be respected. Overruling his decisions in front of your children not only teaches them to disrespect him, [but it also] brings discord and conflict into your home rather than bringing peace and unity. We are on the same team and any time we think that we’re doing the ‘right thing’ by devaluing our husband’s words or opinion, we are slowly giving no other option but for him to disengage and completely leave the parenting duties to us.
