Men don’t often receive credit for their complexity. One of my biggest annoyances is how husbands are often portrayed in commercials and TV shows: emotionally unaware, irresponsible, wide-eyed, and well… a little dumb. Those portrayals provide for a half-hearted chuckle, but they’re caricatures.
I’d like to clear the air a bit. I may not speak for every man, but I have a feeling I speak for most.
Most men aren’t simple.
Most men aren’t just physical or sexually driven.
Most men need verbal affirmation.
Nuanced Man
Real-life men are complex. We’re not as simple as sitcoms portray.
I can only speak for myself, maybe others share my feelings: I want to conquer mountains, but not without Selena. I want to lead my family boldly, but not without agreement from my bride. I want to fight for sexual purity and integrity, but not without my wife fighting with me.
What good is slaying the dragon and climbing the tower if there’s no princess inside? Husbands need their bride’s agreement, adoration, and affirmation.
If you’re a wife, I hope you read this and get a new idea of how to love your husband a little differently, a little better. If you’re a husband, I’m curious to hear if I missed something.
Here are what men want to hear from their spouse daily.
4 Things All Husbands Need to Hear Daily
1: “I trust you”
Selena and I have struggled with this one. We’re in a new season of life with lots of uncertainty. We made a conscious decision to put off some aspects of life to run the course God has outlined for us. We’re unsettled. As I write this, most of our stuff is in an old moving truck, where it’s been for two months now. We don’t have a real “home” as we are renting in a temporary location.
Most of the time we’re in a agreement. On difficult days, she starts to feel frustrated. I don’t blame her, our life is in flux. That can sometimes cause us to fight over particulars as we pursue God’s big plan. It’s in those times when she doesn’t feel it that I need her trust me most.
When I can tell she’s flustered and wanting to abandon the course, I need her to trust me. Then, when she sighs and simply says “I trust you“, it has an inexplicable effect on my confidence and resolve. That’s what men want to hear.
2: “I believe in you”
I doubt myself enough for the both of us. Most times I feel like I’m holding on by a thread – trying to figure out how to provide, love my family well, and be a godly man/husband. When she expresses her belief in me as a man she is affirming her decision to marry me–that she didn’t make a mistake when she said “I do”.
The converse can be devastating to a man’s confidence. Think about it: “I doubt you can do it”… I can’t think of a more deflating blow to a man’s morale. You may not realize that by not telling your husbands you believe in them, you may be sending signals that you don’t.
