2. Casual sex is fun and innocent. Everyone else is doing it.
So, golf is fun. White water rafting is fun. Sex is…fun? Is that how far it has fallen in our culture?
Well done, Satan. Let’s give him a hand, guys. He has taken a mysterious, private, and extremely powerful gift and turned it into something…fun? Something like golf and white water rafting. Something recreational. Really?
Don’t get me wrong. Sex is fun. But it’s more than a recreational activity. Much more.
And while our schools give condoms to sixth graders, the church does little to raise expectations around sex. It’s almost as though Christians believe it’s better to hand out condoms than teach abstinence.
Look, it’s not a stretch to say marriage in our country is falling apart (at least partly) because sex has lost its mystery. Intercourse is nothing more than a recreational activity. It’s fun.
Meanwhile, God says sex binds two people together physically, emotionally, and spiritually. There’s nothing simple about that. Until sex is seen as a powerful expression of covenant love, wrapped in mystery and complexity, marriages will continue to fall apart.
3. It’s okay to have sex if I am in love.
In 10th grade, my U. S. History teacher said something I will never forget. “Love is not something you fall in and out of. Love isn’t primarily a feeling. It’s primarily a decision.”
Now, if you are wondering how love and U.S. History are connected, I wonder the same thing. But don’t derail my point.
At the time, I thought my teacher was ignorant. After all, as a 10th grader, I had fallen in love several times. But now I see that I was never in love. I was infatuated.
Sex isn’t for two people who are “in love.” It is for two people who are married. Two people committed to one another for the duration of their earthly lives. If you and your “boo” are madly in love, get married. If you can’t get married because you are 15, trust God’s eternal plan for sex is better than your present one.
God’s eternal plan for intercourse is better than your present one. Sex outside of God’s design will always be a source of brokenness because it’s for people who are married, not people who are “in love.”
4. If I remain pure before marriage, god will reward me with great sex.
Yeah, I thought this before I was married. And it’s not that the statement was made explicitly. But somehow I concluded it. And I have talked to other Christians who concluded the same thing. So, there must be something in the church water.
I am going to be real. Five years of marriage has taught me that intercourse is hard work. Yes, it’s pleasurable. But if you believe angels are going to sing, “Hallelujah!” while fireworks cascade around you the first time you have sex, prepare for disappointment.
So, why save yourself for marriage? Because it throws out any chance for comparison or emotional residue. It frees you and your current (or future) spouse to explore it without baggage.
That’s worth the wait. I promise.
