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To My Porn-Watching Dad, From Your Daughter

I want to let you know first of all that I love you and forgive you for what this has done in my life. I also wanted to let you know exactly what your porn use has done to my life. You may think that this effects only you, or even yours and mom’s relationships. But it has had a profound impact on me and all of my siblings as well.

I found your porn on the computer somewhere around the age of 12 or so, just when I was starting to become a young woman. First of all, it seemed very hypocritical to me that you were trying to teach me the value of what to let into my mind in terms of movies, yet here you were entertaining your mind with this junk on a regular basis. Your talks to me about being careful with what I watched meant virtually nothing.

Because of pornography, I was aware that mom was not the only woman you were looking at. I became acutely aware of your wandering eye when we were out and about. This taught me that all men have a wandering eye and can’t be trusted. I learned to distrust and even dislike men for the way they perceived women in this way.

As far as modesty goes, you tried to talk with me about how my dress affects those around me and how I should value myself for what I am on the inside. Your actions however told me that I would only ever truly be beautiful and accepted if I looked like the women on magazine covers or in porn. Your talks with me meant nothing and in fact, just made me angry.

As I grew older, I only had this message reinforced by the culture we live in. That beauty is something that can only be achieved if you look like “them.” I also learned to trust you less and less as what you told me didn’t line up with what you did. I wondered more and more if I would ever find a man who would accept me and love me for me and not just a pretty face.

Brian Orme
Brian Orme
Brian is a writer and editor from Ohio. He works with creative and innovative people to discover the top stories, resources and trends to equip and inspire the Church.

11 Signs He’s Cheating: How to Recognize Changes in Your Relationship

Explore key indicators of infidelity with our comprehensive guide on the signs he's cheating. Learn to recognize changes in behavior, communication, and routine that could suggest a partner is unfaithful.

10 Thoughtful Ways for How to Respond to “I’m Sorry for Your Loss”

Discover a variety of heartfelt and appropriate ways of how to respond to "I'm sorry for your loss." Whether you prefer to keep it simple, share a memory, or express gratitude, find the right words to navigate these conversations during times of grief.

One Last Milkshake— A Dying Woman’s Wish, Granted

It wasn’t long after her final milkshake that Emily passed away. "She talked about it for days and days."