My second child, age four, is so different from my first, and I find myself sometimes worrying if everything is ok? Why isn’t she a social butterfly like my oldest child? Does she have a social disorder? Why does she cry when she can’t tie her shoes? Is she processing her emotions properly?
I don’t know. But sometimes I think I worry about these things because society has taught me to. Instead of saying my child is shy, or my child is sensitive, I seek a diagnosis or a label so that maybe someone can fix the problem if there is one. What ever happened to just saying a kid is a kid who’s still developing socially, emotionally, and spiritually? I do believe that true social and emotional conditions and issues exist with children, but I’m afraid as parents we’ve become accustomed to think we must be on guard for something amiss. We’re constantly on the lookout wondering if our child is “normal,” whatever that means, and in the midst of throwing them into societal norms and molds we’ve lost the celebration of how God makes each person a unique and special creation.
So if your child is a “cryer” perhaps you should anticipate how God can use their specific personality for His kingdom, and pray to cultivate how God has designed them rather than try and change it.
If they’re “shy” don’t push them to be more outgoing, but instead create environments that foster their sensitivity and artistry.
Perhaps consider homeschooling if your child is having difficulties learning in their current concrete and restricted learning environment.
I’m not saying to ignore serious issues. Keep watch. That’s one of our jobs as parents. But maybe we should stop being so worried. Maybe we could lay off on trying to find a label or diagnosis for every little quirk, and instead celebrate the beautiful child before us.