Hayley Booth is used to people asking her how she, her husband, her ex-husband and his wife manage to “co-parent so flawlessly.”
The four adults share one beautiful little girl, who Hayley says is the reason they’re all able to work well with each other the way they do.
“We just love our daughter,” she writes on Facebook. “We all love her, and nothing will ever change that.”
Fifty percent of marriages today will end up in divorce. Hayley and her ex are a product of that statistic. But just because their marriage didn’t go according to plan, doesn’t mean their daughter’s life has to be a mess.
“No child deserves to be tossed around back and forth, used as a bargaining chip, or to be put in the middle of any adult drama. She didn’t choose to be born, and she certainly never chose for her parents to get divorced. Why would we make her life harder by making her choose which set of parents to love?”
Hayley says her daughter calls her “bonus mommy,” ‘Mommy,’ just like she does Hayley.
Hayley Booth
For this mama, it’s more than okay, because it means her little girl feels abundantly loved by even more people who have an incredible influence in her life.
“That’s okay, because that’s what she is to her, she IS her mommy. She is there for her always, she takes care of her, she plays with her, she teaches her life lessons and how she should behave, she gives her hugs and kisses goodnight, she does everything any mother would do.. But most of all she loves her like she is her own. It takes a very special woman to take a child that they didn’t give birth to under their wing and become their mother.”
Hayley says she sees so many women who take offense or become territorial when it comes to allowing their child call another woman “mommy.” But from where she stands, it’s an honor to share that title with another woman, and her daughter will be a happier person for it.
“If you are lucky enough for your ex to have a woman who loves YOUR child or children like their own, and one who helps raise them and shape them, why would you not allow them to call a woman they love mommy? Why would you put your child in the position to feel like they have to choose who they love?”
She says it would hurt her daughter “deeply” if she was told not to call her bonus mommy, “Mommy.” In fact, both of her mommies are her “Mommy” whether she’s at her dad’s house or not.
For Hayley, it’s about putting aside the “petty” stuff that’s personal and selfish in the grand scheme of things, to really focus on raising your child to be “the amazing human they are meant to be.”
“My daughter isn’t the only one who loves her bonus mommy, I love her too. She’s become one of my best friends and I rely on her for many things. She is one of the strongest people I know, and I am thankful for her every day.”
Hayley closes by encouraging others that peaceful co-parenting IS possible. “I know it is. Because I do it everyday.”
She hopes her post will prompt others to embrace the fact that it takes a village, and work to be the absolute best parenting team for their kids.
