Dear Future Daughter-in-Law: “You Won’t Complete Him”

I am committed to raising my son to be independent and never to look to you to be his mother, because I will have stood in that role well. I vow to be fully present for him. To teach him what he needs to know about women and how special they are. I promise to raise him in such a way that he always remembers you are someone’s daughter and that you belonged to him after you belonged to God and your parents.

I pray that with each day you love my son, your love swells and overflows. I pray the same for him. I hope as the two of you build a life together, that you never forget how that life was built. Stand strong together. You will need each other in this life. Though I am teaching him to want you rather than to need you, there will be times that he will need you. And you will need him. Be there.

Support each other. Love each other. Choose each other.

The noise of the world will be loud. It won’t always be easy. There may be days that you look at him and question every decision you ever made. In those moments, I pray you will fall back on the foundation you built together and remember why you chose to stand there.

I promise you that each day, I will teach my son these same lessons. I will plant seeds of love in his heart every moment. I promise to show him how to take care of himself. How to do the laundry and the dishes, and to never expect you to do it all. How to be your partner. I promise to foster his sensitivity while praising his strength. To teach him how to be open and to hold your words when they spill from your lips and into his hands. I promise to teach him how to catch them. To hold you. To love you. All of you. To see you for you, not what you can offer him.

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I promise to raise him to be enough within himself so that he can then be enough for you.

We’ve got a lot of years before we meet. But each day between now and then, I will pray for you. I will love you. And when I meet you, I will love you even more than I already do. Because you will love my son. And you’ll become my daughter.

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Rachael Boley
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Rachael Boley is a 31-year-old single mom of 3 little nuggets–identical twin 4 1/2-year-olds and a 3-year-old. She works full time as an Oncology Social Worker, and in her “spare time,” she wrestles, snuggles, and loves on her three boys. She moonlights as a blogger and writer, and spends her days learning to enjoy this crazy, messy beautiful life of single motherhood. Follow her on her blog Three Boys and a Mom and on her Facebook Page, and read more of her writings at Divorced Moms.