Dear Mr. Fix-it,
I am thankful for people like you. We would be sunk without your ability to look at a bad situation and figure out how to make it all better. As quick as lightning, you solve the riddle and make everyone happy.
I also feel kind of bad for you because you are the guy your family looks to in times of crisis. Isn’t it tiring sometimes? It doesn’t matter if that crisis is a leaky sink or a cranky in-law. You are the one that puts things back in place. You’d rather jump into action instead of sitting down and just being a passive listener. That almost feels akin to torture to you. You must DO something.
Sitting idly by is not an option! But it must wear you out being the hero nonstop. And sometimes, your wife and your kids just need you to hear them. Resist the urge to problem solve, glue your seat to the chair and sit still. Say, “Wow, that really sounds difficult. I am so sorry you are struggling.” Then you hug them. And here is the tough part . . . you don’t fix a thing.
If you don’t stop trying to be a savior to everyone around you, you will crash and burn. How can you carry the weight of the world every single day? Just let things play out and see where it ends up. God is in control anyway — and He is the only one who can really handle that much pressure.
When your wife tells you she feels sad but doesn’t know quite why, try wrapping your arms around her until she feels calm. You don’t have to buy her things or take her places. She might just need you to slow down and listen for a moment.
If your kids are complaining that they are bored, you don’t have to run them around to fabulous places to keep them entertained. Just spend some time talking with them. They might just want to connect with their Dad.
If your house is in need of repair and your car is on the verge of exploding, okay go ahead and fix it, but don’t beat yourself up trying to make everything perfect. God doesn’t want you jumping through hoops while trying to be a good guy. It’s not what you do for your family that gives you worth. It’s who you are in Christ. Your identity is in Him. You are accepted and enough.
It’s not your job to make your wife happy. At some point, you will drop the ball and fall short. She needs more than just your abilities. Love her with the strength God gives you, and remember that things have already been fixed because of the Cross and it’s finishing work. Your wife will have lots of ups and downs, so just walk with her through it and tell her you are there no matter what. Just knowing you are there is often more than enough.
I admire your effort, but take it down a notch and relax! Chaos is frustrating but instead of trying to eradicate it each day, embrace the peace that comes with trusting God in all situations. Accept that you can’t fix it all. Be a kind ear for loved ones, hug them and tell them that everything will be okay. Because it will. God has everything under control, and He is way more capable than you.
