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Did God Laugh When My Husband Died?

Photo courtesy of Leslie Blanchard

That was almost three months ago. For what it’s worth, I still get on my knees every night and pray the exact same prayers in the exact same order as I have since 1960-something, for God to keep my family SAFE. I add new people, but no one gets bumped.

I’m not writing this to brag about my commitment to prayer, but to offer a cautionary tale. Even if you shut your eyes while praying, make sure they are metaphorically wide open. Because my prayers didn’t “work!”

I’m coming to the realization that one can plan and one can pray, but there’s no magic and no guarantees — this is a difficult concept for self-diagnosed ControlFreaks to wrap our heads around.

In my senior year of college, I wrote a paper entitled, “The Juxtaposition of Our Human Free Will with God’s Foreknowledge.” It was a difficult thesis to write at the time. I never came to a decisive conclusion then and I’m no closer to one today.

I don’t know exactly how prayers are supposed to “work.” Or how they are supposed to sound for that matter. Formulated or unformulated. Knees or no knees. Catholic or Protestant.

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But I do still believe all prayers are heard.

Apparently, in life, there are certain things that are just going to happen. But I certainly don’t believe God laughed that morning as we sat naively sipping coffee and making plans that were never to be.

The God I pray to probably cried a tiny little bit.

Leslie Blanchard
Leslie Blanchard
On a beautiful afternoon at the end of January this year, Leslie’s life was irrevocably changed when the Love of her Life, her husband of 33 years and father of their 5 children was killed in a motorcycle accident. Prior to that, Leslie’s blog had been a mostly comical chronicle of marriage with a large family of teens and millennials. Now she shares her daily experiences as she comes to terms with her profound sadness and shock, coupled with an effort to ever-capture even the lighter side of the most unimaginably painful challenges life can throw one’s way. She has been featured in Your Teen Magazine, and on websites such as Blunt Moms, Scary Mommy, BonBon Break, Today's Parent, BlogHer, and Faithit. She has been interviewed on NPR and is also proud to be liberally splashed about The Huffington Post in the United States, France, Spain, Japan, Quebec and Germany. Read more from Leslie on her blog A Ginger Snapped, and connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest.

‘We Have No Visible Finish Line’—The Case for Why Moms Are so Burnt Out

This is why moms are always so quick to snap. This is why we are so sensitive. Because we are desensitized. We are numb. We are so beyond burnt out.

14-Year-Old Boy In Foster Care Asks For “A Home and People That Love Me”

What Darrious hopes for most is a family, and a place to call home. He is currently in foster care and lives with other foster kids in a group home.

Jill Duggar to Dad Jim Bob: “You Treat Me Worse Than My Pedophile Brother”

A new, scathing memoir by daughter Jill Duggar Dillard released this week, and an excerpt published in People Magazine shows that it does not portray Jim Bob Duggar in a positive light at all.