My name is Ferrin Roy and I was born with a nevus birthmark, otherwise known as a pigmented skin lesion, on my right cheek. I refer to it as my beauty mark. The journey to accepting the way I was created has certainly been one of self-realization.
Courtesy of Ferrin RoyGrowing up, I can’t recall a single barbie doll, action figure, cartoon, or teddy bear that resembled my appearance. Having a birthmark like mine is a constant feeling of being in the spotlight.
Surprisingly, the very first time I was truly made to feel ‘different’ wasn’t because I was being teased by my peers (like most), but because of an adult. I was just 9 years old.
I was a part of a youth choir group and I made eye contact with a lady who made a hand gesture for me to remove my birthmark from my face. I ignored her, but every time I would gaze her direction, she would make the same gesture. At the end of the service, the pastor asked if anyone had any final remarks. She stood up and stated, ‘I wanted the young lady to remove what was on her face but I realized she couldn’t.’
Luckily, I had a loving mother who instilled confidence within me at a very young age. She taught me that my birthmark was a part of me. She was my voice and defended me when strangers would make derogatory comments. I personally can’t recall all of the times I was teased, but my mother remembers a few incidents that dampened my self-esteem.
The older I became, the more I would recognize stares outside my community. I had no choice but to begin defending myself when my mother was not around. However, there were times when the comments would linger in my mind.
My escape? The mirror!
I would talk to myself in the mirror. I would compliment myself and recite daily affirmations. I recall my mom asking me so many times, ‘Ferrin, who are you talking to?!’ I would simply close the door in the bathroom and stare at myself and talk. While looking into the mirror, I could escape the unpredictable comments and stares. In the mirror, I was the only one with an opinion. Most importantly, I was the only one with an opinion that mattered. I slowly learned to see a beautiful and confident young woman with a very distinctive look staring back at me.
