Nothing is worse than being at work and receiving a phone call from your kid’s principal. As a mama, it can be hard enough managing one job—being a parent. But when that job interferes with the job that puts food on the table, it’s never a good day.
One mother’s story of the phone call she received at work is making its way around the web for a number of reasons. It’s an incredible reminder to parents of just how important it is to teach our children respect, and how to be respected. It’s also a reminder that schools and administrators don’t always have the best track record when it comes to protecting their students from bullies, assault and sexual advances. As parents, we need to be aware of the possibilities, and protect our kids.
The mom, who submitted her story to hrtwarming.com, starts by saying that she’s an ER nurse, and when she’s on duty, her phone is tucked away in her locker. Through a private phone call to the reception desk, she received a call from her teenage daughter’s school, telling her it was urgent that she come in.
Me: “Is she ill or injured? Can it wait until my shift is over in two hours?”
The school representative explains to the woman that her daughter had “struck another pupil,” and that the school has been trying to call her for 45 minutes to handle the matter.
She leaves her shift in the ER and heads to her daughter’s school, where she’s ushered into the principal’s office.
I see my daughter, a male teacher, a female counselor, the principal, a boy with blood around his nose and a red face, and his parents.
Principal: “How kind of you to FINALLY join us!”
Me: “Yeah, things get busy in the ER. I’ve spent the last hour administering over 40 stitches to a seven-year-old who was beaten by his mother with a metal ladle and then I had to deal with the police regarding the matter. Sorry for the inconvenience.”
She explains that her response set him back for a minute, before the principal went on to inform her of the situation. The boy with the bloody face had “twanged” her daughter’s bra. In response, her daughter punched him in the face, twice.
I got the impression they were more angry with my daughter than the boy.
Me: “Oh. And you want to know if I’m going to press charges against him for sexually assaulting my daughter and against the school for allowing him to do it?”
Teacher: “I don’t think it was that serious.”
Counselor: “Let’s not over-react.”
Principal: “I think you’re missing the point.”
The boy’s mother started crying as the ER nurse turned to her daughter to ask what happened.
Daughter: “He kept pinging my bra. I asked him to stop but he didn’t, so I told my teacher. He told me to ignore it. The boy did it again and undid my bra so I hit him. Then he stopped.”
I turn to the teacher.
Me: “You let him do this? Why didn’t you stop him? Come over hear and let me touch the front of your trousers.”
Teacher: “What? No!”
Me: “Does that seem inappropriate to you? Why don’t you go and pull on the counselor’s bra right now. See how fun it is for her. Or on that boy’s mom’s bra. Or mine. You think just because they’re kids it’s fun?”
Principal: “With all due respect, your daughter still beat another child.”
Me: “No. She defended herself against a sexual attack from another pupil. Look at them. He’s a foot taller than her and twice as heavy. How many times should she have let him touch her? If the person who was supposed to help and protect her in a classroom couldn’t be bothered, what should she have done? He pulled her bra so hard it came undone.”
The boy’s mom is still crying and his dad looks both angry and embarrassed. The teacher won’t make eye contact with me.
I was so angry I gathered my daughter’s things and left. I reported it to the superintendent, and was assured it was strongly dealt with.
The incident seems like something that would never be allowed in schools, and in many, it’s not. There are some schools, though, who unfortunately turn their cheek and avoid the confrontation accompanied by bullies.
What if the teenage girl hadn’t punched the boy in the face? She already knew that the teacher wasn’t going to do anything about it, so what, she just sits there and allows him to touch her? Allows him to believe that he can do whatever he wants to girls, women and other people?
Punching is not the answer, and that’s pretty much the one thing that we all teach our kids not to do to their classmates. But had this girl not defended herself, her story of sexual harassment would be her word against his—and we already saw whose side the school’s administration took.
Kudos to this mama for teaching her baby how to stand up for herself.
No matter what the situation, it’s important that we as parents teach our kids how to stand up for what is right, and to always speak up when something is wrong.
