Jesus would say, you’re forgiven.
I would say that I was the woman who treated relationships like a revolving door.
Jesus would say, you are precious in my sight.
I would say that I was the lady who drowned herself daily in too much booze.
Jesus would say, you are now clean as snow.
I would say that I was the person who lied, cheated, and stole.
Jesus would say, none of that matters now. I took your sin on myself, and I paid the price to erase it from your life. You’re free of sin, you’re valuable to my kingdom, and you’re worthy of my sacrifice. If I had to die on the cross for you again, I would do it in a heartbeat.
Redemption isn’t a thing that’s given and then taken away. Forgiveness is a gift, and once we ask, we only have to receive it. Then it is ours, no matter what we did. His death paid the cost, and even though He knew I would do the horrible things I did, He died for me anyway. I had to realize that once I accepted His gift of forgiveness I was no longer bound by the chains of my sin, I was only bound by my inability to fully accept His redemptive power.
So do I ever still look back on my past with regret? Honestly? Yes. But I don’t stay there. I know that I’m not stuck there. I know that my past is not who I am. I have been made new. I am a new creation. And that is all that matters.
*If by chance my old roomie sees this, I’m sorry, my friend. I was trying to fill a void, and it happened to hurt more people than just myself. Please forgive me.