Today I sat in a courtroom surrounded by the ones I love most, facing someone I once believed loved me. Someone who claimed would always protect me and keep me safe, but yet was my worst nightmare.
I had to listen to his attorney say that when he attacked me, it was intentional. Saying that he claimed he was going to leave his mark on me for my next boyfriend.
But today, October 18, 2018, I have finally gotten a bit of closure. Thank you to everyone who prayed and kept me in their thoughts. Be careful who you are with and who you trust, evil is in the face of all types.
***October 21, 2017***
This was the day a piece of me died.
I remember every detail of this very moment, the thoughts that ran through my mind when I opened my camera were very dark, which only seemed to worsen. Sitting in a puddle of my own blood with the majority of my lip laying on my leg, my whole mouth on fire, confused and terrified, I didn’t know how I could ever show my face again. At that point, honestly wishing that those very seconds would just be my last — I wanted to give up for good.
I kept replaying what had just happened in my head, from telling Seth I was not there to get back together with him, however, I was there for him to right his wrongs. To getting flowers and cards thrown at the back of my head and then quickly getting in my car to seeing my leg shaking uncontrollably, to finally look up at him picking everything up. I could not figure out how this happened so fast. I couldn’t figure out how he was so mad.
From putting the items in the passenger seat, leading to him trying to kiss me. Of course, as I said before, I wasn’t there to get back together with him. I refused and backed up, only to feel him latch on to me. Feeling it tear about half way. I then started screaming at the top of my lungs for help and out of fear for my life. He then yanked me out of my own vehicle and slammed the door in my face, so he could take off, and run away from what he had just done. He continued to call me once I made it into the ambulance, which felt like a lifetime after having something many women hold precious to them, completely mutilated. I just don’t understand how you could be filled with such anger…
I remember the look of terror on the man’s face that just so happened to save my life this day. As well as the sweet elderly lady that had to walk out of her home to see such tragedy occurring, but yet was so kind to try to help me and keep me comforted until further help arrived.
I remember Officer R coming around the back of the vehicle with Officer P following. I remember Officer R pulling his walkie-talkie over to speak into it. Saying something along the lines of it being more serious than what he was expecting, my lip being completely severed off and for the EMS to come quick. Then giving me a piece of gauze and trying to assist me to stay calm and find out the details.
I remember being in the ambulance, being told to call my mother. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. She was [seven] hours away on her first vacation she had ever taken without me — how could I ruin it? I then got on the phone with her friend and I remember trying to say ‘he bit me,’ but no one could understand me because my lips couldn’t pronounce it… I then blew up into a ball of emotions and gave the phone to the lady behind me, allowing her to explain.
I remember just watching out of the back of the window of the EMS, watching the roads thinking we were never going to make it to the hospital, again wishing these moments would just be my last. Still, to this day I cannot hear or see an ambulance without going into a panic. It brings me right back into this moment.
I remember waking up, looking up to my nurse trying to lighten the air around me and making a joke about how at least now I wouldn’t have to dress up for Halloween to scare everybody, that I could now go as myself… she chuckled and nodded then proceeded to bring me to get a mask to cover my face. That was when it hit me, this was my new reality. What I just woke up from was no joke. Never a day in my life will I ever wake up living my ‘normal’ life again.
For many months I found myself at blame for what happened to me. But now I have finally realized I am not at fault. This happened because I chose not to get back together with someone I knew didn’t deserve me, which he proved once again…