When this happened, I was about a month and a half into my first year of college. Now, I am a year behind and should have been only about a year away from being done. Due to having to withdraw, I lost all of my scholarship which will now have to come out of mine and my mother’s pocket when I plan to go back. I wanted to attend starting back this semester but due to hearing news of another surgery, there was just no way.
When this happened, we had to sell the first home my mother had ever purchased. Where the attack took place was right down the street from our front door. I could not even go back to my own home for weeks because I would begin panicking every time, if I even saw the street.
I was not able to drive for two months, due to being on medicine and then being frightened to really venture out much. I sat in a bedroom constantly scrolling through social media, which only led to me comparing myself to everyone on my feeds, which only led to my thoughts worsening. I thought there was no use for me left in this world.
Being a young girl is already hard because you have so many expectations of how you should look. So you can only imagine how my insecurities skyrocketed once I had a flat face with a scar wrapping from cheek to cheek and was now known as the ‘girl that had her lip bitten off.’
When I gained the courage to go out, I would constantly have heads turning to stare me down. I felt like a monster. I could not even walk out of the house without smothering myself in makeup or being in fear that I would see him.
This has affected my day to day living. It took me months to finally be able to open my mouth wide enough to put a regular sized small fork or spoon in my mouth. I was having to use little plastic ones that were smaller than the ones babies use. I could not and still cannot bite off of food, I first have to tear everything to bits.
About a month or so after this happened, my mom came home to check on me on her lunch break. I was asleep, so she just laid next to me. She began having to shake me to wake me. I was screaming and crying in my sleep. I was having nightmares that my attacker was coming after me once again. But that wasn’t the end of them, I still have them to this day. My biggest fear is that he will get his hands on me again and next time I will not be up here for you to hear my voice…
My nights don’t just consist of nightmares. I get woken up from my phone ringing in the hours from 1:30 a.m. to 4 a.m. These calls are from the GPS Monitoring company, calling to tell me that ‘Seth’s monitor has not had a signal to them in an hour or so. They haven’t been able to get a hold of him but for me to have a good night. *click*.’ Imagine that… your biggest fear is someone that has hurt you before, coming after you and yet they don’t know where he is. They leave me in a panic and follow it with no update.
I used to dream of having a big family and having little babies, as most do. As of now, I am completely against this. I no longer want kids because I feel like bringing them in the world would be putting them into danger. If Seth could flip like a switch because I refused a kiss, then imagine what he would do if he ran into me or my family again.
This is my reality. Everyone else around me that has had to make arrangement to switch things up, so I can feel as comforted as possible. He has affected my life negatively so much and has absolutely no remorse.
I was told to not post anything about being happy or what I was doing but Seth Fleury has taken enough of my happiness. I cannot allow him to keep taking it or I will never live the life that I was meant to. No one understands how every day is a struggle to get up and go about my days. But if I sit down and let this defeat me then he will only get more satisfaction out of what he’s done… so I just ask that the focus today is on what he has done and not at how far I have come or what I have felt that I have had to do to overcome what he has done to me.
I could honestly keep going on about how much this has changed my life, but I am going to leave it at this.
Thank you for hearing my voice.
I will continue to wear my scars as wings and I will continue to Stay Kind and Stay Strong. And I will Rise Above this.
Kayla Hayes,
No longer a victim, but a Survivor.
Seth Aaron Fleury, 23, of Greenville, South Carolina pleaded guilty to assault and battery of a high and aggravated nature and was sentenced to 12 years in prison.
**This story was written by Kayla Hayes of Greenville, South Carolina. Used with permission. Follow her Rise Above journey on Facebook here.
Please share Kayla’s powerful story of survival and overcoming with your friends on Facebook.
