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“It caught me off guard. I wasn’t expecting to hear that news at the ultrasound. It reminded me of the loss of my husband, with his loss came blessings."

Mom Dies Giving Birth & Dad Lays Baby on Her Chest—10 Minutes Later, He Hears the Scream…

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Mom’s Genius “Secret” Ear Infection Cup Trick Goes Viral—And It’s So Simple It Hurts!

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Dad’s Heartbreaking Photo Goes Viral After Son Writes These 2 Words on School Project

And it’s not their fault…. that’s the saddest part. They were clearly not taught to embrace and accept the differences of others. Not by their teachers, which would have been nice, had they thought to do so, but by their parents. I don’t mean to imply that parents that don’t have this conversation with their kids are bad people, but only that somewhere in between working, soccer practice, and homework, it never occurred to them to have this particular conversation. I’m sure that if Christopher were typical (that’s the word we use instead of “normal” in our world of ‘Holland’, for our developmentally delayed children), I would have not had this conversation with him either.

Christopher’s brothers have had many, many sleepovers over the years, obviously in front of him, and it has not gone unnoticed.

“Can I have sleepover?” Christopher has asked.

“Sure, buddy….with whom?” As a response, he would flap his arms and stim instead of answering. He didn’t have an answer because he didn’t have a name.

Because he didn’t have a friend.

He’s never had a friend.

Ever.

He just turned eleven.

And because he’s had no friends….there was no one to invite.

And I don’t have a solution. I don’t have an answer. The reality is that I have to rely on the compassion of others to be incredibly understanding in order just to sit next to him, attempt to engage him, and make him feel included.

My son is very smart and has a great sense of humor. Every adult that meets him is drawn to him. However, because he needs the input, he will spontaneously flap his arms and make loud, guttural sounds from time to time. It draws a lot of attention in public. If you’re not used to it, it’s normal to feel embarrassed, as you will have all the eyes in the room upon you. He will ask the same question fifty times in a short period of time (His latest is “What time do you go to bed?” and “What’s your address?”).

I typically have to tell servers in restaurants just to give him the restaurant’s address…as once he has a satisfactory answer, he will usually move on.

Like I said, there’s no easy answer for this…at the end of the day it comes down to compassion, empathy and understanding.

But mostly empathy. Not from you guys, but from your children. As far as I know, (save for one time), Christopher’s classmates have never been overtly cruel to him. What they have done, however, is exclude him. And frankly, I understand this. His classmates are delayed as well, but most not as much as Christopher. They are figuring out how to interact socially every day, and because Christopher cannot engage them in a typical way, he gets left behind…excluded.

Until Thursday, I didn’t know how aware he was of this divide, as he does not often talk about his peers. I should not have been surprised as he makes his wants (but not his emotional needs) very clear….but I was. Mostly, I suppose, because I had never seen him put in down on paper. For the first time, it was staring me in the face.

Bri Lamm
Bri Lamm
Bri is an outgoing introvert with a heart that beats for adventure. She lives to serve the Lord, experience the world, and eat macaroni and cheese in between capturing life’s greatest moments on one of her favorite cameras.

Wife Tells Husband She’s Pregnant With Triplets at His Funeral—25 Weeks Later, Her Doctor Delivers More Unbearable News

“It caught me off guard. I wasn’t expecting to hear that news at the ultrasound. It reminded me of the loss of my husband, with his loss came blessings."

Mom Dies Giving Birth & Dad Lays Baby on Her Chest—10 Minutes Later, He Hears the Scream…

"You are so unbelievably excited that your child is born…and in the next moment you believe you’ll have to say farewell to your wife forever. It was like being numbed."

Mom’s Genius “Secret” Ear Infection Cup Trick Goes Viral—And It’s So Simple It Hurts!

"What I’m about to share with you, is a coveted family secret...Your child ever wake up screaming in pain of an ear infection? This is the handiest trick you will ever learn."