“My greatest gift in this life is being your wife.” My husband smiled at my heartfelt words. As we talked, I realized my husband didn’t get me a Christmas gift.
“Thank you, baby,” he replied. “That means a lot.” My gift to him was appreciation, and his gift to me was every day. Every day he showed me his love for me in action.
You see, my husband didn’t get me a Christmas gift
About two weeks ago, I had mentioned my thoughts to my husband as we drove back home from running errands.
“I thought perhaps we could not get each other Christmas gifts this year,” I suggested.
Then I presented the facts. We only had limited time before we packed up and headed over 500 miles away to visit family for Christmas. I’d be working twelve hours shifts, several in a row, right up until the day we left. We still had tons of shopping to do for family members. Yes, we are master procrastinators. Plus, let’s just be honest, funds were limited. Then there was the thing about not knowing what I wanted. I had considered what I might want, but I truly could think of nothing I needed! The past year of our lives had centered a lot around focusing on important things like time together, and less on piles of material possessions that meant very little. We had unloaded a lot of “stuff” before hitting the road to travel in an RV, and we loved how light we felt without all the unneeded junk.
“You know, we haven’t had time alone together since July. Maybe we could go on a date while we’re back home with family to babysit. That could be our Christmas gift to one another,” I proposed.
He was quick to answer, “I love it!”
After a few Christmas gatherings, and after seeing gifts other spouses gave one another, I thought about my nonexistent present last night.
I remember in a previous relationship, him making a large income. He was always buying me jewelry, lots of diamonds and gold, plenty of expensive clothing, and pretty much anything I asked for. I also remember never feeling like I was pretty enough, or feeling like I wasn’t enough (period) for him. I lived consistently feeling like I wasn’t a gift to him, despite the presents he bought. For six years, I lived like that. Stacked to the ceiling in stuff he gave me but realizing I wasn’t loved.
Then I thought of my biological father. I remember when I was 19 and I tried to reconnect with him. He took me to the mall, and he bought me $100 shoes and $100 jeans. I felt like he was trying to make up for the years lost, and I let him do it! I was 19, after all. But in the end, $1000 shoes wouldn’t have made a difference. Many years later, after we had drifted apart again, I would look at those shoes in my closet and realize the presents didn’t matter. Presence did. I finally got rid of the shoes. But just today I talked to my Daddy who adopted me.
In my life, I have had plenty, and I have had little. Yet in all that experience I would trade all the possessions in the world in favor of true love and all that it entails. It was after these thoughts last night that I spoke my mind and heart to my husband before falling asleep.