I’ll never claim to be an expert on all things marital. After all, my first union ended in divorce, and while it wasn’t by choice of my own at the time, I take full credit for the plethora of mistakes I made that first time around. So as a woman whose first marriage failed I’d like to think I learned something from such a regrettable situation. I could come up with a great big handful of specific circumstances that most likely led to the demise of my first marriage, but let’s just be honest and roll it all up into one truth enchilada. In the end it comes down to two people who weren’t living for and/or serving God. End of story. Sure there’s a lot I left out in the middle, but from the beginning, all the way to the bitter end, my unhappy marriage was due to both people not having their eyes on Jesus.
Many times when you see unhappy marriages you can pinpoint the very same cause as the culprit for my divorce. One or both people aren’t serving the Lord. The fact is if you are serving Jesus it will serve your marriage. A lot of strife in marriage is brought in on the back of selfishness. One partner will become fixated on how the relationship isn’t meeting their needs. They will focus on how the other person is failing. They will cultivate the thoughts in their minds of how their partner isn’t carrying their load. It becomes a fixation on me.
He isn’t paying attention to me.
She doesn’t understand me.
He isn’t providing for me.
She isn’t satisfying me.
And on and on. Me, me, me.
Remember when I said the key to a happy, healthy marriage is serving Jesus? That’s because as you serve Jesus you will learn that He was a servant. You’ll begin to understand that serving others is the only way to truly love. Husbands will see to serve is to lead, and wives will see that to serve is to be equal. To serve is the only way to be served. Sound crazy?