In five years it won’t matter if that “perfect husband” was cute.
It won’t matter if he was well-dressed, if he said all the right words, if he was funny or trendy or cool.
The pictures won’t matter. The “likes”, the status, the #relationshipgoals achieved – they’ll just be ripples on the surface of a newfound depth.
There is so much relationship advice out there and I’m just one voice among millions, but if I could tell you one thing, dear girl, it’s this:
MARRY THE MAN WHO STAYS, NOT JUST THE ONE WHO SEEMS LIKE THE PERFECT HUSBAND.
Anybody can tell you you’re pretty in yoga pants and a messy bun. You need the rarer kind; the kind who sticks through the messy of your soul.
He’s often overlooked, this man because he doesn’t seem like the perfect husband type. You won’t find a microphone in his hand or a stage beneath his feet. He may not lead the Bible study or share profound insights into the Word. Instead, his hands do the work unnoticed, and he stands quietly in the background. He leads by serving. But he lives profoundly.
If you move too fast you might miss him. If you’re captivated by the spotlight you won’t see him in the shadows. If you’re looking for a “type” or perfect husband you might never notice he is there.
But he is.
We’re trained to look for the movers and shakers, the leaders and the loud, the perfect husband. We think spiritual leadership means holding the microphone – but it’s more about holding the fort. The man who stands on principle isn’t en route to anywhere else; he’s neither moving nor shaking. He simply stays.
We think of faithfulness as something practiced once we’re married, but it doesn’t just happen when the rings slip on our hands. It’s a discipline of the heart that begins early. It’s the choice to stick with it when things get tough, when you’re overlooked, when your work is ignored and you’re left standing there. It’s choosing to stay when you have every reason to leave.
The man who stays faithful when no one is looking – in his job, in his ministry, in his life – is the man who stays with you when marriage gets hard. This man doesn’t run from a fight, not so he can win it – but so he can win back your trust. He stays to the end because he values a happy ending. His glory isn’t in applause and popularity but in the quiet assurance of his faithful love.