Minor Prophets in My Home: How Children Reveal Our Idols

The psalmist says, “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward” (Psalm 127:3). God calls us to die to our definition of “dreams” and “impact” and view our children, not as limitations, but instead as our God-given gift and responsibility.

When They Choose the ‘Wrong’ Job

My friend worked in construction. One summer, the son of a wealthy Christian came to work with him. The dad showed up to work one day, turned to the son, and said, “I gave you this job for the summer so that you would never want to have to do it your whole life.”

We talk a lot about glorifying God in all we do, no matter what we do as a vocation, but do you find yourself let down by your children’s choice of work? You may have been steering them toward a certain career when, all of a sudden, they choose something totally different, and it’s not up to your standard. A common phrase parents say to a child is, “God made you for so much more than this” or, “God made you for something better than this.” The sentiment reveals a potential (and prevalent) idol: deep down many of us fear what people might think of us based on where our children work.

Where do we get this “so much more” idea? If our children have clear capabilities in academics or business, and they choose construction or farming, have they squandered something “better” or “greater”? Of course, you need to help your children to see how God has wired them and gifted them, but choosing a job based on how the world will view you and them is something completely different.

Paul teaches us, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ” (Colossians 3:23–24). Whatever we do, we work as unto the Lord. Say it again: whatever. The verses are not just about having bad bosses and doing everything with joy despite how they might treat us. Paul is also saying that our children can honor God in almost any kind of work.

We should help them fight a far greater threat than a lower income or less recognition: against working for “selfish ambition or conceit” (Philippians 2:3). We should help them glorify God, no matter what they do (1 Corinthians 10:31). If we think about children’s careers in a worldly way, it’s likely we have valued other people based on where they work or how much they make. We may have never admitted this, but our child may be exposing our true idol and heart’s desire.

When They Want to Move Far Away

In my experience, Christian parents are the greatest hurdle most missionaries face in heading overseas. I know that sounds crazy. As our kids get older and leave the house, there is an unspoken expectation and hope that they will live close. Most men live within ninety miles of their mother-in-law. But sometimes God calls our kids to cross-cultural work in Bhutan or Pakistan or Indonesia — and they want to take our grandkids with them!

All of a sudden, all the talk about the importance of sending people to the ends of the earth is a reality. Singing “Let the Nations Be Glad” was easy when it didn’t cost your kids. And now you are asked to sacrifice by sending in a manner worthy of God (3 John 5–8). The hesitations in your heart are often plain and simple idols.

If kids are arrows in a quiver, eventually we need to unleash them. That could mean shooting them across oceans. Perhaps you should consider whether your emotions reveal that, at least in your mind, the Great Commission is really for other families if it involves sending your kids far away.

What Is the Root?

What is the root cause of all of these things? James would say disordered desire. “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?” (James 4:1) It is why we covet. It is why we get angry. Those passions fuel our pride. We are by nature lovers and protectors of ourselves. We are by nature at the center of the universe, desiring everyone to orbit around us.

One way God reveals this is through the minor prophets that grow up in our homes. And when their preaching hits home, the response should be repentance and not self-protection. It is to lay aside our old nature (Ephesians 4:22), deny ourselves (Matthew 16:24), and choose to, instead, follow and treasure Christ.

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Darren Carlson is the Founder and President of Training Leaders International. He has written on issues relating to short-term missions, missionary care, trends in global theology, missiological discussions, and the effective use of financial resources to relieve poverty.