Every woman knows that when summer rolls around, the bathing suit struggle is REAL.
In an effort to hide the rolls, the love handles, and the stretch marks, the lengths we’ll go to find the perfect-fitting suit are quite insane. Why is it that guys can keep the same pair of trunks for a decade while we put ourselves through this torture EVERY summer?
But mommy blogger Liz Petrone decided enough was enough. NOT this summer. This would be the season that she would be calm and carefree in her bathing suit selection, purchasing a high-waisted bikini from Marshall’s without even trying it on. After all, she is a woman of FAITH.
Now that, my friends, is BOLD.
Well, not long after, Liz quickly regretted her impulsive purchase — but thankfully for the rest of us, she documented every detail of the most hilarious bathing suit blunder the Internet has seen. You’ll never look at a high-waisted bikini the same again…
Read her hysterically relatable post below:
“We are on vaca this week, so I bought a new bathing suit. I can’t help it, I know it’s dumb, but this is what I do because I’m a masochist and I still like to let myself believe that the universe is conspiring in my favor when really I think God and Mary and my mom are up there laughing at my naïveté and pouring another round.
It’s a two piece but with a high waisted bottom which is like the mullet of swimwear: party on the top and full frontal coverage on the bottom. I didn’t try it on because I don’t totally hate myself and no one needs to pick me up from the Marshalls changing room area floor and like I said I AM A WOMAN OF FAITH.
So instead I got here and the water beckoned me (to sit near it, not to go in, let’s not get crazy) and I went to throw on my new bathing suit and THE TOP WOULD NOT EVEN TIE AROUND MY RIB CAGE. I’d been in a new Marshall’s and must have lost my bearings and ended up in the juniors section because the lovely little boob cups were clustered together in the middle of my chest like two shy sisters afraid to let go of each other.