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Today I Took a Picture of Myself in a Bikini

Today I took a picture of myself in a bikini and may I add that I didn’t filter it.

Let the shock set in.

But, I also didn’t share the picture — until now, that is.

Today I took a picture of myself in a bikini because I needed to prove to myself that I was worthy of wearing a bikini.

Worthy?

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Seems like a strange word to use when referencing your attire; but yes, for a very long time and since birthing three amazing children, I haven’t quite felt like I am a model candidate for bikini-wearing.

For a few summers now, my [7]-year-old has enjoyed wearing age-appropriate two-pieces, the cutest of which have been the toddler bikinis with her little ‘I-drank-too-much-milk-and-ate-too-many-snacks’ baby gut on display.

Ain’t nothing cuter than that. I mean seriously, any of my little munchkins in their bathing suits give the Coppertone kid a run for their money.

I would say, though, beginning last summer, my daughter would question me as to why I wasn’t wearing a two-piece bathing suit.

I would tell her “Mommy just doesn’t feel comfortable in it,” and when she would push for me to explain what I meant I would just deflect the conversation and bring up a new topic.

I know that I am supposed to model a positive body image for my daughter.

I know that I am supposed to exemplify body self-confidence.

I know that I shouldn’t engage in negative self-talk in front of any of my children, and I sure as heck am aware that I should never make it sound as though my or any person’s appearance is what matters about them. Still, I wore the one-piece, and I’ve worn it pretty often in recent years.

Nicole Merritt
Nicole Merritt
Nicole Merritt is a mother of three, a freelance writer, co-host of I Am The Worst Parent Ever Podcast and the Owner and Founder of jthreeNMe; an imperfectly authentic peek at real-life marriage, parenting, and self-improvement. jthreeNMe is raw, honest, empowering, inspiring, and entertaining; it’s like chicken soup for those that are exhausted, over-stressed and under-inebriated, yet still utterly happy. Nicole's work has been featured by NBC's TODAY Show, Love What Matters, Scary Mommy, The Good Men Project, Elephant Journal, CafeMom, Popsugar, Motherly & many others. You can follow Nicole at jthreeNMe.com and as @jthreeNMe on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram & Twitter!

‘We Have No Visible Finish Line’—The Case for Why Moms Are so Burnt Out

This is why moms are always so quick to snap. This is why we are so sensitive. Because we are desensitized. We are numb. We are so beyond burnt out.

14-Year-Old Boy In Foster Care Asks For “A Home and People That Love Me”

What Darrious hopes for most is a family, and a place to call home. He is currently in foster care and lives with other foster kids in a group home.

Jill Duggar to Dad Jim Bob: “You Treat Me Worse Than My Pedophile Brother”

A new, scathing memoir by daughter Jill Duggar Dillard released this week, and an excerpt published in People Magazine shows that it does not portray Jim Bob Duggar in a positive light at all.