An Ohio mother of three, who made headlines in August for her unique maternity photo shoot, in which she posed with 20,000 bees across her belly, revealed Monday that she suffered a stillbirth just six days before her fourth child was due.
“Yesterday evening we had to hand over our precious child and say goodbye to his physical body forever,” Emily Mueller wrote in a heartbreaking Facebook post, adding that she and her husband, Ryan Mueller, had named their late son Emersyn Jacob.
“Our baby has died. Our baby will never come home with us,” she continued. “This wonderful rainbow baby we were blessed with has now become a storm in our lives.”
Emily was busy getting ready for an event on Thursday and hadn’t paid much attention to the lack of movement coming from Emersyn.
That evening, she realized something seemed off, and monitored it through the night before calling her OB the next morning, who encouraged her to get checked out.
At the hospital, Emily’s worst nightmare came to fruition. After multiple nurses searched for what seemed like an eternity to find Emersyn’s heartbeat, the doctor finally came in and confirmed what no one else could: “Your baby has passed.”
“I can’t and don’t want to explain that feeling to anyone. Turning to your husband and seeing him die inside. Seeing him completely break. Seeing your children feel and suffer your pain in front of your eyes. The pain is unbearable.”
Thankfully, they didn’t have to bear it alone. Emily says Sufficient Grace Ministries came alongside her and Ryan throughout the entire process.
From the moment she was given Pitocin to induce labor, to the time they were released to go home, the Ohio nonprofit provided answers, comfort, direction and support to the Muellers.
“Finding out your baby died is unfathomable,” Emily writes. “Learning you have to be induced and deliver your deceased child is way beyond that. My heart instantly ached for any woman that has told me she had a stillborn.”
Even in the midst of devastation and loss, Emily says God has not left their side, but instead provided them with support and a community that has shown them incredible love.
“Jesus decided he needed his own beekeeper and took our precious son, Emersyn Jacob, back up to Heaven with him.”
She is hopeful for the future, and the many ways that their experience, and Emersyn’s life and death will take them on a journey of redemption. Their pain and suffering is not the end, but the beginning:
“What we have gone through was not in vain and the Lord Almighty will lead us on our path to heal and learn his journey.
Just as you do not know the path of the wind and how bones are formed in the womb of the pregnant woman, so you do not know the activity of God who makes all things. Ecclesiastes 11:5”