“My second child came into this world so harmoniously. She fed well, she slept like an angel, she was perfect. After my first no sleeper, boob rejecter, I truly felt like I was hashtag ‘blessed.’ I hit the jackpot.
And you know that kid you see throwing a tantrum, being a real little sh*t, biting their parents on their bums, lifting up their mothers dress and throwing [crap] everywhere, screamin’ at the top of their lungs and you think, oh thank god that kid isn’t mine…well, that’s her now, that’s my perfect sleeper right there. My angel baby turned into Genghis Khan.
She is 10 out of 10 feral, and I would not purchase again.
She is stubborn, wild, and defiant. When you tell her to stop running, she hears ‘Run faster, knock down a shelf of sanitary pads, and bounce into someone with a drink spilling it all over them.’
If I relax for two seconds, I know to ask, ‘Where’s Sofia?’ because she’s a runner that would make Usain Bolt look like a power walker.
Disapproving looks from strangers and comments about disciplining her are like white noise. It puts me to sleep.
Those with feral children know that we could handcuff our child to a pole and not only would she get out of it, but she would climb that pole, bungee jump off it, and somehow cover the couch in diaper cream at the same time.
