“I showed up to work today, exhausted per usual. My day starts at 4:30 a.m. and I’ve been battling an upper respiratory Illness that started off as a covid scare, so I’ve been more exhausted than usual.
I’m human.
So being tired, it makes me snappy and short sometimes. And today, my patience was wearing thin.
Then a frequent flyer showed up at 10:34 a.m. even though he knows we don’t admit after 10:30 a.m. As he walked up to me, I was already shaking my head no. All I could think was, ‘Not today! I am NOT doing this today. I am done helping people who don’t want to help themselves!’
I work in substance abuse services, and this patient was coming back after a 6 day bender. He started to talk to me and before he could finish his first sentence, I was already interrupting to tell him ‘10:30’
That’s all I said.
And then I started to walk away.
I was done. I didn’t need to hear his story, because I was NOT going to admit him.
Period.
And as I walked away he yelled: ‘You’re only doing this for a paycheck. You don’t care what happens to me.’
I didn’t stop.
I didn’t re-admit.
He left my booth. And I proceeded with my day.
But I came home tonight, and this patient is still heavy on my mind because I could’ve done better…. and he deserved better.