If I Had Given Him Just One Bottle, He Would Still Be Alive

Instead of celebrating on what would have been her son Landon’s fifth birthday, Jillian Johnson took the time to open up about the death of her baby boy.

Fearing she may be judged or labeled a “bad mom,” Jillian steered clear of sharing the story of Landon’s life and death for a long time. But she hopes in doing so now, her story might save another child’s life.

this …

YouTube

In preparing for Landon’s arrival, Jillian and her husband spent her pregnancy doing everything they could to be ready for their precious son.

“We took all of the classes. Bought and read all of the books. We were ready! Or so we thought…” she shared on the Fed Is Best Foundation’s blog. “Every class and book was geared toward breastfeeding and how it’s so important if you want a healthy child.”

Landon was even delivered in a “baby friendly” hospital, which geared mothers toward breast feeding. And after an emergency C-section, Landon exclusively breastfed.

Lactation consultants assured Jillian that “he had a great latch and was doing fine,” but Landon was constantly fussing for his mother’s breast.

Jillian’s doctors evaluated her for difficulties with milk production, but her risk factors proved to be low, and they had Landon continue breastfeeding.

YouTube

But the first-time mom felt like she couldn’t catch a break. Landon was on her breast for 15-40 minutes every one to two hours. And when he wasn’t feeding, he was constantly crying. When Jillian asked why that was, the consultants told her it was because he was “cluster feeding.”

“I recalled learning all about that in the classes I had taken, and being a first-time mom, I trusted my doctors and nurses to help me through this—even more so since I was pretty heavily medicated from my emergency C-section and this was my first baby,” she wrote. “But I was wrong. I’ve learned I have to be my child’s number one advocate.”

In his first 24 hours of life, Landon nursed for more than nine hours. After being alive for just 53 hours—only two and a half days, the baby had lost 9.72 percent of his birth weight.