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An Open Letter to the Christian Who Thinks God Failed Them

I recently received an email from someone who read one of my blog posts. I felt led to respond to this gentleman, but also to share my response with the world. I don’t think he’s alone in his feelings, so perhaps my response can help him, but also another one or two.

Comment: “I just read your article, I believe the title was “You can pray to save your marriage but god won’t give you this,” dated August 9, 2017, I just have a few comments and questions. I was a Christian until god lead my wife of 18 years to have an affair with a man he introduced her to through church. We divorced shortly after in 2013. I was a Christian and faithful in teaching my kids about Jesus and the Bible and how to be good people in this world. Then god failed us. My family was not worth saving to him. I don’t know why and neither do my for kids which I got custody of 6 years ago. I have no answers for them now. 
Now I don’t teach them anything they must make their own decisions. God failed us so how do we continue to pray to the same god who abandoned us when we needed him most? The love of my life is gone, the kids have a terrible example of a mother, and a father that is not half the man he once was. Why did god do this?

There are many couples that I know, including my parents, married 65 years and both my brothers who are happily married for over 30 years. Why did god not protect my family like he has protected theirs?

I am happy for you in that in the article you mention that you found your happy ever after but what about those of us god has forgotten? Why has he forsaken us?

I know this will probably never be seen or answered like hundreds of others I have sent over the years but I still have to try for some comfort in this world. God surely doesn’t hear my prayers anymore.”

My reply:

Hi (name withheld for privacy),

I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get back in touch with you, but I would like to address some of your questions and concerns. I wonder if perhaps your view of God’s character might be a little skewed? Like, perhaps the hurt you’ve received from humans is being projected onto God? Let me explain.

Immediately upon reading your email the first line grabbed me. You said, “God led my wife to another man that she met through the church.” First, I truly believe this WAS NOT God. God holds marriage in high regards. The marriage covenant represents His covenant with us, a fallen world. He loves us more than anything, and He wouldn’t want the covenant that is supposed to be an example of His commitment and unconditional love to us broken. I repeat, God will never lead ANYONE to cheat on or leave their spouse for another, especially for reasons of adultery. That goes against His character and view of the marriage covenant.

Mark 10:9 NIV Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.

God didn’t lead your wife to leave you. She made that decision all on her own without God’s approval.

Next I noticed you said you had always tried to teach your children about God before and how to “be good people.”

The only reason is bring this up is because I want you to understand that God is not a works-based lover. In other words, He doesn’t count you worthy based on how good you are. We are all inherently sinners. It’s Jesus in us that makes us good. This means that no matter what, God loves you. He loves your children. He would have sent His son Jesus to die just for you. It’s not about goodness. It’s about love. You love God, you love others. The goodness will just naturally follow those two things.

Ephesians 2:8 NIV For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith–and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.

At one point you mentioned that God failed you and your family. At another, He had forgotten you. And yet again, He had forsaken you. Let’s start with scripture, which is the Word of God, 100% infallible, and we can count as Spirit-breathed truth.

Deuteronomy 31:8 ESV  It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. 

Joshua 1:9 ESV Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Matthew 28:20 ESV Teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.

You describe with certainty that God has left your family, that He pulled His favor from you, that He abandoned you, and that He doesn’t even hear your prayers. I tell you the truth, my friend, and please listen closely:

That’s not true! This is a lie from Satan! It’s not flesh and blood we fight, but powers and principalities of darkness (Ephesians 6:12). Satan desires nothing more than to separate you from God. He used this terrible tragedy to do just that. The Word states that nothing can separate us from the love of God (Romans 8:31-39). So see, Satan doesn’t really have any power. He can’t take God’s love from you! What he can do is trick you and blind you to that love. You have been blinded to believe God doesn’t love you anymore, or that He forgot your family. This simply isn’t true. The Bible says it’s not possible. I could continue to quote about thirty more scriptures where it states that, but I won’t bludgeon the point. Just know it’s repeated so many times because God knows we forget it and He really doesn’t want us to.

Brie Gowen
Brie Gowenhttp://briegowen.com/
Brie Gowen is a 30-something (sliding ever closer to 40-something) wife and mother. When she’s not loving on her hubby, chasing after the toddler or playing princess with her four-year-old, she enjoys cooking, reading and writing down her thoughts to share with others. Brie is also a huge lover of Jesus. She finds immense joy in the peace a relationship with her Savior provides, and she might just tell you about it sometime. She’d love for you to check out her blog at BrieGowen.com.

Top 10 Most Iconic Famous Sidekicks in Pop Culture History

Discover the top 10 most iconic famous sidekicks who have left an unforgettable mark in the realms of film, TV, and literature. From comic relief to crucial support, find out why these characters are celebrated in pop culture.

Funny Bible Verses: Discover the Unexpected Humor Hidden in the Bible

Explore a light-hearted look at the Bible with these unexpectedly funny Bible verses found in Scripture. From talking donkeys to witty prophets, discover how humor is woven into the holy texts and what it teaches us about faith and life.

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Explore how 26 famous figures defy conventional cleanliness norms with their unique hygiene habits. From skipping showers to unconventional oral care, explore the personal choices that challenge societal expectations and influence public perceptions.