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She Was Secretly Filmed While Breastfeeding, Then She Saw It on Facebook

Jenny Rapson
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She Was Secretly Filmed While Breastfeeding, Then She Saw It on Facebook

First-time mom Izabele Lomax was scrolling a breastfeeding support group on Facebook when she saw an angry post from a fellow nursing mom.  It was a screenshot of yet another post where a nursing mom was being shamed for feeding her child in public. The poster in Lomax’s group was aghast that someone had secretly filmed a mom feeding her baby and then ranted about how she needed to cover up. Lomax heartily agreed that this was a terrible thing to do to a nursing mom…but as she zoomed in closer, she realized the breastfeeding mom was HER. She was the one who had been secretly filmed, and she was the one who had been shamed.

Here are the words Lomax saw written about herself, along with a video of her nursing her child at the beach:

“I’m not shaming woman who breast feed their babies. I’m shaming the woman who breast feed in public with no respect to cover themselves up and just let their boobs hangout (nipple included) for everyone to see! COVER TF UP!!! I shouldn’t have to cover my sons eyes and explain why your boobs are out and quite frankly I don’t want to see it either. Have some respect!”

As a mom who nursed, and as a woman in general, I am shocked that a woman would write this about another woman who is just feeding her baby! Breastfeeding is not sexual, and Lomax wasn’t putting on a show. The poster’s attitude is frankly ridiculous.

Lomax was also shocked at the Facebook post and the author’s harsh words. She had been at the beach with her family, nursing her 9-week-old son Baker, and hadn’t noticed anyone watching.

“We were in our own little area and I didn’t notice anyone staring at us or anything,” she says. “It wouldn’t even occur to me that somebody would be upset about me feeding my child.” She also added that it was quite hot at the beach that day and she did not want to overheat her infant by putting a cover over his body as she nursed him. Not to mention, she shouldn’t and doesn’t have to. Mothers can legally breastfeed in any public or private space in the United States.

The next day, Lomax took her shock and anger to TikTok to tell her story of being secretly filmed and shamed for breastfeeding her child in public. Addressing the woman who posted the video, she said, “You had every opportunity in the world to say something to me. Not that I would have cared or stopped what I was doing. But you instead choose to post a video of me and my child on Facebook. My child was also hungry in multiple restaurants and while we were walking down the street, and guess what? He ate.”

@izlomax ill leave this here #breastfeeding ♬ original sound – izlomax

She was applauded on TikTok with many supportive comments, and says the woman has since deleted the video from Facebook. She has yet to receive an apology, however.

My heart goes out to Lomax but I’m glad she used the situation to speak out in support of her fellow breastfeeding moms. When a baby needs to eat, it should be fed – regardless of how that makes anyone else in a public space feel, and a nursing mom should not be made to feel as if she needs to go off and hide to feed her child.

Jill Duggar Says Dad Pitted Siblings Against One Another, Used Kids to Manipulate and Intimidate Her

Jenny Rapson
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Jill Duggar Says Dad Pitted Siblings Against One Another, Used Kids to Manipulate and Intimidate Her

I am currently reading Jill Duggar Dillard’s memoir Counting the Cost about her life growing up in the 19 Kids and Counting Duggar family, and it is both riveting and heartbreaking.

One of the more heartbreaking aspects is the way Jill says her father used scripture to keep his children under his control. One specific example she cites is that they were “constantly reminded not to ‘stir up contention among the brethren,'” which comes from Proverbs 6:18-19. This verse, along with Matthew 18, has sadly been used to encourage abuse victims of all kinds not to report abuse or any problem within their church organization or family, citing talking about it at all as “gossip.” In the Duggar family, Jill says, “It was a way for our parents to keep us siblings from talking badly about each other, or putting anyone down, but over time it became something else — something more sinister. By preventing us from discussing anything controversial or sensitive with each other, the instruction not to ‘stir up contention among the brethren’ became a tool for silence, for control, for guilt.”

Knowing what we now know about Jill Duggar’s sexual abuse at the hands of her brother Josh, this use of scripture seems especially tragic.

But one of the other things Jill says was toxic about her ultra-fundamentalist family is that when she and her husband Derick began to disagree with her father over the filming schedule and lack of compensation for their TLC reality TV shows, he sent her siblings to intimidate her into agreeing with him.

She describes what happened after talks with her dad Jim Bob broke down: “Then came the next wave, a consolidated effort from several of my siblings. They hit the phones, sending voicemails and texts all day long, each one pleading with us to get this resolved. When that didn’t work, some of my siblings started visiting. They’d want to spend hours talking it through, trying to figure out what our problem was and why we weren’t doing what Pops wanted,” she says.

She said one sibling told her that her dad said that if they weren’t against Jill, then they were against him. As the Duggars had been taught by their parents and Bill Gothard’s Institute of Basic Life Principles that they were always under their father’s authority, even when they were adults, Jill says it was excruciatingly hard to stand up to her dad, and she understands why her siblings felt led to defend him and take his side no matter what. Still, she says, it made her feel very alone.

“Now most of (my family was) against me” she writes. “I wasn’t built for this. I’d experienced stress and trauma before — some of it caused by individuals in my family — but I’d always been able to count on the rest for support. They had been my gravity, the force that I never had to question and could always rely upon. But now it felt like they were gone.”

Nearing the end of her book, she doesn’t have much good to say about the IBLP, being on reality TV, or the effect that either had on her father, and it is truly devastating.

“Only now can I look back and see things clearly, like the way IBLP fostered a culture of manipulation and abuse, the fact that Pops eventually put the show above his children, or the toll it took on my own mental health,” she writes. She says her father constantly referred to the show as their “ministry,” but I can’t help but wonder, after all that’s come out, if any of it was really worth it. Jill Duggar Dillard, with the title of her book Counting the Cost, certainly seems to believe it was not.

I Slept With My Mother When I Was 16—& I Have Good Reason for Letting My Kids Do the Same

Liz Petrone
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I Slept With My Mother When I Was 16—& I Have Good Reason for Letting My Kids Do the Same

I slept with my mother when I was a kid and I have a motherhood confession: There is a child (or two or three) sleeping in my bed more nights than not.

With four total, and all of them still relatively young enough to wake up in the middle of the night sick or scared or wet or thirsty or just alone, it’s a nightly event that at least one — and sometimes more — pads into my room, holding a blanket or a stuffed something that has seen better days.

I roll over and look at the clock and inevitably there’s a moment when my stomach sinks at the math of how much more sleep I just might get if I am lucky, but still, I always make some space for them.

Yes, I Slept With My Mother…and Now My Kids Break That “Rule” Too

I know it’s a controversial subject, and I know (and respect) that it’s not for everyone. I know the parenting magazines would probably frown upon it. Perhaps more importantly, at least to me, I also know the lack of sleep has likely taken years off my life or at the very least made me look like it has.

And yes, I’ve read the sleep-training books and talked to the doctors and let myself fantasize about what it would be like to just once sleep wholly through the night and let me tell you: The prospect is absolutely lovely.

But I feel like this is something I need to do, and there is a good reason. It’s this:

When I was 16, I stopped eating.

It wasn’t that simple, and it wasn’t all at once like that or even a conscious decision, not at first. But I was no longer a kid, and I and my life were both getting big fast and I knew I needed to do something to try to make us small again because the bigness felt too new, and frankly, a little bit scary.

But as these things do, pretty soon the not-eating thing got too big, bigger than I anything could handle myself. I lost more weight than I ever meant to, although somehow it still wasn’t enough, and the anxiety problem that had been a manageable hum in the background of my life became a loud and constant scream that I couldn’t ignore.

Nighttime was the worst, and then I stopped sleeping. I would toss and turn for hours, trying to convince myself I wasn’t hungry and I wasn’t sick and I wasn’t falling quickly into a hole that was too big for me to pull myself out of alone.

My mother and I were not in the best place then — individually, neither of us was healthy, and together we were worse than the sum of our parts — but I knew she saw what was happening to me, and I knew she was worried as well.

One night, when it all got to be too much, I did something out of desperation that I hadn’t done since I was maybe 6 and frightened during a thunderstorm: I crept into her room and climbed into her bed.

She didn’t say anything, not that I remember, and I assumed she was asleep. But I pulled the covers up and settled my head on her pillow and closed my eyes and then I felt it, so light I thought I imagined it at first, her hand resting on my back. I’m sure it was the first time we had touched in months, maybe years.

Sometimes I think that hand saved my life. Or it was the bridge that got me into the next day which got me into recovery, eventually. At the very least, I know this: I fell instantly asleep.

For a short while it became a routine of sorts, and one that we never spoke about in the daylight. I don’t know if she appreciated those small moments of togetherness we had there like I did or if she just tolerated them because she knew I was sick, and she’s gone now so I can’t ask. But when she died and I found myself unable to sleep again, I was grateful for the memory but also for its lesson.

You see, most days I’m not a great mother, not like the ones you see on TV or read about in those same parenting magazines that say my babies should learn to self-soothe. My temper is shorter than I’d like, and I make more boxed mac and cheese than anyone should ever admit to. I am terrible at braiding hair or remembering to sign the thousands of papers that come home every day stuffed into four different backpacks. I’m much too distracted, and I’m tired, and I make so many mistakes daily that usually I lose count before lunchtime.

But at night? This is still something I can do, what my own mother did for me all of those years ago. I can make space. I can let them in, rest my hand lightly on their backs, and feel their soft breath as they settle next to me, and if only just for that moment, help them rest easier in the knowledge that they don’t have to be alone.

I know it’s not forever and their need — big now with little-kid troubles like night terrors and bedwetting and things under the bed — will evolve into bigger-kid needs and likely then into the not needing at all, and it’s a prospect that both gets me through my tired days and terrifies me.

For now, I know this: For as long as I can, I will help them sleep — even if it means that tonight, I don’t.

Married 69 Years, Hospitalized Couple Holds Hands Til the Very End

Jenny Rapson
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Married 69 Years, Hospitalized Couple Holds Hands Til the Very End

Tommy and Virginia Stevens, both 91, were, in the eyes of their family and friends, a legendary couple. The Tennessee high school sweethearts proved earlier this month that their love truly endured until “death do us part.” Tommy passed away on September 8 at Vanderbilt University Medical Center. Virginia, who was also hospitalized, was moved from her room next door to his room so that they could hold hands until the end. She passed away just nine days later.

Though the couple were hospitalized for separate issues, the hospital was moved to compassion by their situation, and moved Virginia first to the room next to her husband and then into his room in the palliative care unit. Their daughter Karen Kreager told the VUMC Voice that they “both lit up” when they were reunited, and that to the family, the most important thing of all was that they were together.

“He was awake when she came in,” Kreager said, speaking of her dad. “His eyes were open. He wasn’t communicating a lot — just in small whispers. But he knew that she was there and that she was going to be right beside him. They [didn’t stop] holding hands the whole time.”

Before her passing, Virginia was able to tell the VUMC Voice how much it meant to her that the hospital had reunited the couple. “You know, it helped me a lot,” Virginia she said. “It just gave me peace that I wouldn’t have to worry about him. He was going to be with me.”

Tommy, who had Alzheimer’s, was hospitalized for pneumonia and sepsis and was moved to palliative care when treatment options were exhausted. The same day he was hospitalized, Virginia suffered a fall which resulted in six broken ribs, a spinal injury and a hip fracture. After seeing her husband peacefully off to heaven one day before their 69th wedding anniversary, she followed and was reunited with him on September 17th, just nine days later.

Hospital staff was extremely touched by the couple’s love for each other, which spread to the whole tight-knit Stevens family.

“It reminds me of why we do this work,” said Mohana Karlekar, MD, medical director of VUMC’s adult Palliative Care Program in the Voice. “We take care of people — husbands, wives, mothers, fathers — not patients. We brought this family together during one of their most difficult times with little effort on our part.  It involved a call, seeing an extra patient that day and some conversations.”

The effort on the hospital’s part was truly worth it to the Stevens family. Having their parents spend their last moments together, and not having to scurry from different parts of the hospital to check on them both, gave the family back much-needed emotional energy to handle the end of both the patriarch and matriarch’s lives.

“We were able to focus on both of them at the same time versus having to worry about going back and forth,” their daughter Karen said. “And the most important thing for us was that they were together.”

Dennis Quaid Boldly Proclaims That Faith in God Saved Him After Addiction

Jenny Rapson
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Dennis Quaid Boldly Proclaims That Faith in God Saved Him After Addiction

Dennis Quaid is best known for being a talented and prolific actor, but he’s always been a talented musician as well. If you don’t know Quaid’s story, you might find it odd that he’s releasing not just a new album, but a gospel album. It’s called Fallen: A Gospel Record For Sinners.

This isn’t the first time Quaid has pursued his musical talents: a band he was in even received a record contract in the early 90’s. But their success was sidelined by Quaid himself.

Dennis Quaid’s History of Addiction

“I was in a band,” he told People magazine “and we got a record gig… They broke up the night they got it, and they broke up because of me, because I was not reliable.” The reason the band could not depend on him, he says, is because he was addicted to cocaine.

After rehab in 1990, Quaid turned to the faith of his childhood. He says that the gospel album is just a natural outpouring of his love for music and his relationship with God. “I grew up at the Baptist church; I love the hymns that I remember from being a kid,” he said. “The songs are self-reflective and self-examining, not churchy. All of us have a relationship with God, whether you’re a Christian or not.”

Quaid also added that though he grew up in the church, he never found a personal relationship with God until after getting help for his cocaine addiction in 1990. He said he was using drugs, as many people do, “to fill a hole inside us. When you’re done with the addiction, you need something to fill that hole, something that really works, right?”

What worked for him was reading the Bible and pursuing a relationship with Christ. He wrote his first Christian song for his mom, Juanita, in 1990, after getting out of rehab. It’s called “On My Way to Heaven.” Quaid says he wrote it “to let her know I was okay, because I wasn’t okay before then.”

Dennis Quaid, A Man Redeemed

Now, at age 69, he says, he’s more than okay. He has multiple acting projects coming out soon, and will even be playing Ronald Reagan in an upcoming biopic. The father of three says he’s now “the happiest I’ve ever been.”

He says the hole he once filled with drugs has now been filled by a relationship with the Lord.

“We’re all looking for the joy of life, and drugs give that to you and alcohol and whatever it is for anybody give that to you really quick. Then they’re fun and then they’re fun with problems, and then they’re just problems after a while. That’s really what we’re looking for, the joy of life, which is our gift, actually, the relationship with God that we all have. It’s at the bottom of it, the joy of being alive.”

WATCH: Baby’s Epic Baptism Disaster Is a Viral Sensation

Jenny Rapson
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WATCH: Baby’s Epic Baptism Disaster Is a Viral Sensation

Parents know that anytime you have a little kid in church, things can get dicey, but put them on a stage in front of a crowd with water involved, and just about anything can happen! 11-month old Sullivan Williams recently proved this in a big way, and his unintentional baptism antics quickly went viral on Tik Tok.

In the hilarious video, Sullivan can be seen in his mom Candace’s arms at the baptismal font, surrounded by family, godparents, and of course, a priest. The angelic-looking blond baby seems to be just chilling in his mom’s arms when all of a sudden his little hand juts out and knocks the prayer book right out of the priest’s hands and into the water. The book gets quite the dunk, even though it’s the baby’s baptism!

@nattyiceicebabyy @Barstool Sports hope you find this as funny as we did #baptismgonewrong ♬ Oh No – Kreepa

Williams told TODAY.com that the priest took the mishap in stride, picking the sopping wet book up and continuing on as if nothing had happened.

Her family, however, had trouble keeping it together!

“He was turning the pages and they were soaking wet. Later, my husband was like, ‘Every time I looked at the pages dripping, I started laughing,'” she said.

“My brother was roaring with laughter,” she added. “My mother-in-law was in the front row and she tried to keep it together, but she couldn’t do it.”

Sullivan, apparently quite the little ham, picked up on the energy and turned his cuteness up a notch, his mom says. “He was being really playful — he was yelling and babbling,” Williams said. “When we actually baptized him, and we had to put his head over the font, he was looking at everyone and smiling. He knows when he’s being funny.”

His aunt, who edited the now-viral Tik Tok video, apparently also knows when she’s being funny: the short video features exaggerated facial expressions of shocked family members with some great sound effects! It’s so well done that it has received over 4.5 million views!

Williams says she apologized to the priest and he told her “it’s ok.” She also added that it was his very first baptism in that church and she’s pretty sure that he will never forget it thanks to Sullivan’s antics. What a way to start out a ministry at a new church!

Williams also says that the levity in the ceremony was on par with Sullivan’s personality. “Sullivan is just always happy. He’s an easygoing baby,” she said. So happy, in fact, that the theme of his first birthday party is “one happy camper.”

Happy birthday, Sullivan! Here’s to a whole life of happiness and hilarity for you!

‘My Mom Still Waves Goodbye to Me. She Still Makes Me Meals When I Visit. A Mom-Heart Doesn’t Change Just Because Her Kids Are Adults.’

Faithit
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‘My Mom Still Waves Goodbye to Me. She Still Makes Me Meals When I Visit. A Mom-Heart Doesn’t Change Just Because Her Kids Are Adults.’

“My mom still waves goodbye to me.

She stands out on her driveway and waves. Sometimes even blows me a kiss.

She still makes me meals when I come to visit. All of my favorite meals are made by her. There is just something about the way she cooks.

She still buys me random things she sees at the store that she thinks I will like. She is usually right.

She still lets me call her when I’m bored and just need someone to talk to.

She still gives me a hug that will break down any wall I have and make me weep when I’m not ok.

She still cares about me like she did when I was a kid. She can’t help herself.

Photo: Kelli Bachara via Facebook
Facebook

Sometimes when I find myself grieving how quickly my kids are growing up, I just think of my mom, and how much I love her and how precious she is to me.

And I remember, a mom-heart doesn’t change just because her kids are adults. And no one can ever take that spot in a child’s heart… grown or not.

As I’ve gotten older, my mom still does the same motherly things she’s always done, now for me and my babies.

She still stands outside, rain or shine, and waves goodbye as we leave.”

**This post was written by Kelli Bachara and originally appeared on her Facebook page. See more from her at The Unraveling Blog. 

15 Bible Verses About How to Love Others Well

Bri Lamm
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15 Bible Verses About How to Love Others Well

These Bible verses about loving others focusing on the greatest commandment in the Bible: Love your neighbor as yourself.

Jesus came and paid the ultimate sacrifice for our sins—not because we deserved it, but because He was a living, breathing example of loving others well. We love because He first loved us. (1 John 4:19)

Knowing how to love others well is something we are called to in our pursuit of a life that’s on fire for Jesus.

These 15 Bible verses about loving others well are just what you need to live life more like the Lord today!

Bible verses about loving others 

1. “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.” (1 John 4:7)

2. “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)

3. “About brotherly love: You don’t need me to write you because you yourselves are taught by God to love one another.” (1 Thessalonians 4:9)

4. “But Ruth replied, ‘Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.’” (Ruth 1:16-17)

5. “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:12-13)

6. “You are the people of God; he loved you and chose you for his own. So then, you must clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Be tolerant with one another and forgive one another whenever any of you has a complaint against someone else. You must forgive one another just as the Lord has forgiven you. And to all these qualities add love, which binds all things together in perfect unity.” (Colossians 3:12-14)

7. “And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.” (1 Corinthians 13:3)

8. “This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” (1 John 4:9-11)

More Bible Verses About Loving Others

9. “The one who loves his brother or sister remains in the light, and there is no cause for stumbling in him.” (1 John 2:10)

10. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

11. “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8)

12. “For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Galatians 5:14)

13. “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” (Ephesians 4:2)

14. “But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.” (Luke 6:35)

15. “‘For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat; I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink; I was a stranger and you took me in; I was naked and you clothed me; I was sick and you took care of me; I was in prison and you visited me.’  “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and take you in, or without clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick, or in prison, and visit you?’ “And the King will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’” (Matthew 25:35-40)

My Worst Nightmare—What If I Accidentally Raise the Bully?

Kelsey Straeter
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My Worst Nightmare—What If I Accidentally Raise the Bully?

I will never forget the day my daughter told me that Bethany, a girl in her 4th grade class, was annoying her. She had a bully.

“What is she doing to you?” I questioned, instinctively protective.

“She’s following me around on the playground and sitting by me at lunch!” she quipped, as if that would sum things right up and get me squarely on her side of the matter.

“You mean she’s trying to be friends with you?” I asked incredulously.

I realized immediately that I had a problem on my hands. I was raising my own worst nightmare. Smack dab in the middle of my brood of five kids, was a charismatic, sassy, leggy, blonde, dance-y, athletic girl oozing confidence … and apparently annoyance, directed toward another little girl that wasn’t lucky enough to be her. Inconveniently for my daughter, her own mother WAS Bethany in grade school. Freckled of face and frizzy of hair, I was an Army brat, always the new girl clamoring for a friend, drawn to the natural confidence of girls like my daughter. This conversation found me vacillating between heartache and fury, but one thing I knew for sure: Mama was about to put her money where her mouth had been all these years.

The battle of two very strong wills ensued at my home the next morning. It wasn’t pretty, but I prevailed. My daughter attended a private Catholic grade school, where on any given day, she and a handful of her cohorts ruled the roost. One quick phone call to Bethany’s mother that same evening confirmed my worst fears. My daughter and her posse were using everything short of a can of “Cling Free” to rid themselves of the annoying Bethany.

I’m sure there are parents out there who will say I overreacted. But, I firmly believe we’ve got to start to address our country’s bullying epidemic right at the heart; by re-defining bully at its very core. To me, the rejection and complete lack of interest my daughter and her “clique” displayed toward Bethany was the beginning of a subtle type of bully. It is true (confirmed to me by Bethany’s mom and teachers), that there was no overt unkindness or name-calling, etc., just rejection; a complete lack of interest in someone they wrongly concluded had nothing to offer them. After experiencing childhood myself and raising five of my own, I’ve been on every side of the bullying social dynamic, and I am convinced this is where it begins. A casual assessment and quick dismissal of an outsider.

We would serve our children well, in my opinion, if we had a frank conversation with them about Social Darwinism and what motivates human beings to accept and reject others. It happens at every age and stage of life, race, creed and religion. It has its roots in our own fears of rejection and lack of confidence. Everyone is jockeying for their own spot on the Social Food Chain. I feel like I have experienced demonstrable success with my children by tabling this dynamic right out in the open. Parents need to call it by name, speak it out loud, shine a bright light in its ugly face. We need to admit to our children that we too experience this, even as adults. Of course it’s tempting to ‘curry favor’ and ‘suck-up’ to the individual a rung of two above you on the Social Ladder, but every single human being deserves our attention and utmost respect. In spite of this, we have to constantly remind our children and ourselves that everyone can bring unexpected and unanticipated value to our lives. But we have to let them.

It’s simply not enough to instruct your children to “Be Nice!” You’ve got to be more specific than that. Kids think if they aren’t being outright unkind, they are being nice. We know better. Connect the ugly dots. Explain the Darwinistic social survival instinct that’s often motivating and guiding their impulses. I promise you, they can handle it. They already see it on some level anyway. They just need YOU to give it a voice and re-direction.

As for my girl, I instructed her that she was going to invest some time and energy getting to know Bethany. I assigned her to come home from school the next day and report three cool things she found out about Bethany, that she didn’t previously know. My strong-willed child dug in. She did not want to do that. I dug in deeper. I refused to drive her to school the next morning, until she agreed. It seemed that, at least until now, I had the car keys and the power. Her resistance gave us time to have the Social Darwinism conversation. I walked her through my “ATM Machine Analogy.” I explained to her that she had social bank to spare. She could easily make a withdrawal on behalf of this little girl, risking very little.

“Let’s invest!” I enthused and encouraged.

She got dressed reluctantly and I drove her to school. She had a good day—what was left of it. But, she was still buggy with me when I picked her up, telling me that her friends’ mothers “stay out of such matters” and let their daughters “choose their own friends!” (Such wise women.) And then she told me three cool things about Bethany that she didn’t previously know.

I checked back in with Bethany’s mother by phone two weeks later. It’s called follow through. (I don’t think enough of us are doing that. We “helicopter” over our kids’ wardrobes, nutrition, sleep schedules, hygiene, science fair projects and then pride ourselves on how “hands off” we are on social issues. If I had a dollar for every time I wanted to say, “Seriously? You micro-manage the literal crap out of every thing your child does from his gluten intake to his soccer cleats, but THIS you stay out of?” No wonder there’s zero accountability and a bully culture!) Bethany’s mother assured me that she had been welcomed into the fold of friendship and was doing well.

Bethany’s family moved to another state a few years later. My daughter cried when they parted ways. They still keep in touch through all their social media channels. She was and is a really cool girl, with a lot to offer her peers. But the real value was to my daughter, obviously. She gained so much through that experience. She is now a 20-year-old college sophomore, with a widely diverse group of friends. She is kind, inclusive and open to all types of people. When she was malleable, impressionable and mine to guide:

—She learned her initial instinct about people isn’t always correctly motivated.

—She learned you can be friends with the least likely people; the best friendships aren’t people that are your “type!” In the world of friendship, contrast is a plus.

—She learned that there are times, within a given social framework, that you are in a position to make a withdrawal on behalf of someone else. Be generous, invest! It pays dividends.

But, most importantly, she learned that, while I may not be overly-interested in what she gets on her Science Fair project, couldn’t care less if she’s Lactose Intolerant or whether her long blonde hair is snarled, she’s going to damn well treat people right.

Parents—your kids are going to eventually develop the good sense to wear a jacket and eat vegetables, invest your energy in how they interact within society. If we insist on being the hovering Helicopter Parent Generation, let’s at least hover over the right areas.

***

Read more from Leslie at her blog, A Ginger Snapped.

About the Author: Leslie Blanchard is a wife and mother of five, who tattles on her husband, her own mother and her children by chronicling the insane and mundane in all of their lives in a fairly public way. Collectively, her family more or less rues the day they purchased her an iPad. Now that she’s officially a blogger, Leslie lies in the tub, neglecting her considerable responsibilities and muses about marriage, motherhood, friendship and other matters of life outside the bubbles. Read more from Leslie on her blog A Ginger Snapped: Facing the Music of Marriage & Motherhood.

Michael Oher Adoption Lie: Says He Was Blindsided In Real Life By “Blind Side” Family

Jenny Rapson
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Michael Oher Adoption Lie: Says He Was Blindsided In Real Life By “Blind Side” Family

Like many Americans, I’m both familiar with and have great affection for the 2009 movie The Blind Side. I will confess that personally this is because I have loved Sandra Bullock ever since the 1995 Christmas rom-com While You Were Sleeping. She can pretty much do no wrong on screen in my book, so I was thrilled for her when she won an Oscar for portraying Leigh Anne Tuohy, a Southern mom whose family takes in neglected teen Michael Oher, an African-American who becomes a high school, college, and eventually NFL football star.

Years later, as I became more aware of the social problems surrounding race in America (I was super ignorant, for real), I realized that there were some “White Savior” issues with the movie, but I sort of brushed it aside. After all, at its heart, it was the story about a family, right? A family who opened their hearts to expanding, and changed the life of a child in the process.

Recent breaking news has put a crack in my rose-colored glasses. Oher, now 37, says he has discovered that instead of being legally adopted by the Tuohy family, he was actually just the victim of a nefarious conservatorship. He signed the conservatorship papers three months after his 18th birthday, he says, after having been told that this would finalize his legal adoption by the Tuohy’s. Instead, he says, it just enabled them to profit from the movie about his life story and from his NFL career.

Oher filed a petition earlier this week in Shelby County, Tennessee probate court to end the conservatorship. He is also seeking back pay for any money the Tuohys earned from the agreement, which gave them control over his finances. He asserts that he just became aware of the truth behind the conservatorship about six months ago, in February 2023.

The Tuohys have argued that the conservatorship was the only way for them to bring Michael officially into their family since he was over 18 and they could not legally adopt him. According to USA TODAY, they say they will end the conservatorship. Their lawyer Steve Farese said that they Tuoys don’t need Oher’s money and the agreement was not a way to financially profit from their relationship with him. “They don’t need his money,” Farese said. “They’ve never needed his money. Mr. Tuohy sold his company for $220 million.”

Oher, who made about 30 million dollars during his 8-year NFL career, believes he was financially take advantage of, whether the Tuohys needed the money or not. His petition to the court states that Leigh Anne and Sean Tuohy “falsely and publicly represented themselves” as his adoptive parents. He also seeks an injunction to keep them from “continuing false claims” that they legally adopted him and to prevent them from profiting off his name and likeness.

Whatever the truth is, it appears that this fight is turning nasty, with the Tuohys now accusing Oher through their lawyers of a “shakedown” for money before he filed the lawsuit, according to the L.A. Times.

I don’t know which side is the most right here, but I do know that it’s an awfully heartbreaking chapter in a once-rosy American story.

What do you think? Is The Blind Side one of those stories that is just too good to be true, or is there something more at play here?

World Cup Champ Olga Carmona Learns Father Died After Scoring Winning Goal

Jenny Rapson
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World Cup Champ Olga Carmona Learns Father Died After Scoring Winning Goal

Millions around the world saw the victorious photo of Spain’s 29-year-old soccer star, Olga Carmona, celebrating with her jersey in her teeth after she scored the winning (and only!) goal in the World Cup Finals against Australia Sunday. Carmona was dedicating her victory to the mother of her best friend, who had recently passed away. Her name was on the shirt. She also mentioned her friend’s late mom in her post-game interview, explaining why she had shown the words written on her compression top beneath her jersey.

Unbeknownst to Carmona at the time, however, she had her own loss to deal with—in a strange twist of fate, her father Tomas Carmona Mena had just passed away. The star would not be told until after the match, which is surely the way her family wanted it. The Royal Spanish Federation announced the death just hours after the team’s victory, saying:

“REF deeply regrets to report the death of Olga Carmona’s father. The soccer player learned the sad news after the World Cup final,” the statement said. “We send our most sincere hugs to Olga and her family in a moment of deep pain. We love you, Olga, you are the history of Spanish football.”

Carmona herself later tweeted in Spanish to honor her father, showing a photo of herself kissing her World Cup medal. Translated, the tweet reads, “And without knowing it, I had my Star before the game started. I know that you have given me the strength to achieve something unique. I know that you have been watching me tonight and that you are proud of me. Rest in peace dad”.

At the time, no cause of death was given for her father, but the Daily Mail later reported that Tomas Carmona Mena died after a long battle with cancer. On her flight home from the World Cup in Australia, Olga Carmona tweeted again, in Spanish, processing the many emotions she was going through. Translated, she says, “I have no words to thank all your love. Yesterday was the best and the worst day of my life. I know that you would like to see me enjoy this historic moment, that is why I will be with my colleagues, so that from wherever you are you know that this star is also yours, dad.”

Carmona’s twitter mentions are full of loving and supportive messages from fans and colleagues. The soccer star, who also scored the only goal in her team’s semi-final match earlier in the week, will surely have one of the most emotionally complicated weeks of her life. Love and prayers to the Carmona family as they grieve their profound loss, and as they celebrate Olga’s amazing achievement.

Candace Cameron Bure’s Daughter, Natasha Bure, Reveals Why She’s Decided to Show ‘Less Skin’

Jessica Lea
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Candace Cameron Bure’s Daughter, Natasha Bure, Reveals Why She’s Decided to Show ‘Less Skin’

Natasha Bure, daughter of “Full House” alumna Candace Cameron Bure, says that she is dressing more modestly than she used to and that, in the past, she found her worth in revealing more of her body than was needed. The 25-year-old actor, whose birthday is Tuesday, Aug. 15, comes from a family of Christians and is vocal about her own faith.

“Modesty & I have come a long way, truthfully,” said Natasha in her Instagram story in response to a question from a fan. “A year or two ago I dressed COMPLETELY different and showed WAY more of my body than I ever needed to.” She implied with emojis that she now feels embarrassed when she sees old photos of herself. “A lot of that came from where I was finding my worth and thinking that showing more skin, was more attractive,” she said.

Natasha Bure Wants To Be True to Her Values

Natasha Bure is the oldest child of Candace Cameron and Valeri Bure. Valeri is a former professional hockey player and Candace is an actor and producer who recently left the Hallmark Channel to collaborate with the Great American Family (GAF) network. Candace Cameron Bure uses her platform to encourage people to follow Jesus and was instrumental in helping her friend and fellow actor, Danica McKellar, to become a Christian.

Candace has dealt with controversy over the past year, in part because former “Dance Moms” star JoJo Siwa claimed Candace was the “rudest celebrity” Siwa had met. The actor and Christian has also dealt with criticism following her statement to The Wall Street Journal that Great American Family “will keep traditional marriage at the core.” Candace made that comment in response to a question regarding whether GAF will feature LGBTQ+ love stories as the Hallmark Channel is now doing.

Candace’s remarks on “traditional marriage” drew public criticism from Siwa, “One Tree Hill” actor Hilarie Burton Morgan, and Candace’s “Full House” co-star, Jodie Sweetin. Sweetin recently expressed disappointment that a movie she starred in had been sold to GAF.

McKellar pushed back against the criticism of her friend, however, and Natasha appeared to come to her mother’s defense in a post where she said, “The Lord blessed me with the best parents I could’ve ever asked for…Raising us up in the word of God and bringing glory to HIS name. I don’t know where I’d be without both of them.”

“I love you @candacecbure for continuously choosing Christ before all,” Natasha continued. “The media is an absolutely VILE space for negativity and I applaud you every time for how you handle yourself with the utmost grace.”

Regarding her new view of modesty, Natasha shared that rather than thinking that showing more skin is attractive, “I actually think the opposite now. I think dressing classy & upholding modesty is so beautiful. I’ll actually feel myself 100x more & am so much more confident in outfits that show less skin.”

“I still want to dress stylishly and keep up with the trends,” she continued, “but I don’t ever want to compromise my values. I want my words and how I present myself, to match!!”

“Happy birthday to my beautiful girl 💝 inside and out,” Candace said in an Instagram post Tuesday morning. “Keep on letting your light shine ✨ @natashabure . I love seeing you light up the path with every step you take 😘❤️”

“I love you ❤️,” Natasha replied.

 

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