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I Was Giving My Son the Very Thing That Was Killing Him & Had No Idea

Kelsey Straeter
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I Was Giving My Son the Very Thing That Was Killing Him & Had No Idea

It’s easy for us to take our everyday blessings for granted. From clean air to a roof over our heads to healthy kids, these tend to be the things we overlook as we get used to them being the norm.

We often fail to realize how precious these gifts really are until they are taken away from us in an instant. No mother knows that better than Mandy Suzanne Smith. In a viral Facebook post she explains how her perfectly healthy son Zachary ended up on his death bed in just a matter of hours. More importantly, she weaves in the miraculous redemption of God in Zachary’s story, and it’s a sobering reminder that anything is possible if we fully place our faith in Him.

Read her powerful story that has now been shared over 114,000 times on Facebook:

February 21st may be just another day to everyone else, but for me, It’s a day that will forever be burned into my head. On this day, 2 years ago, I picked Zachary up from school and he was complaining of poison oak on his foot and that he felt like he had dirt or something in his eye. We put some cream on it and never thought much more about it. He went to stay the night with his nana that night and early the next morning, February 22nd she brought him back because he had started to break out in a red rash and he had been running fever. I brought him to the er in Monticello and they believed it to be some type of viral infection. So we got him some meds and went back home. It seemed with every hour that passed by he only got worse. The rash began to spread and completely cover his little body. His eyes were blood shot red, and his lips were bright red and were beginning to crack and peal. We knew something was not right so me and my mom brought him to Kdmc. It was there that a nurse practitioner told us that she believed Zachary had sjs (Stevens Johnson syndrome). It literally burns you from the inside out.

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Facebook/Mandy Suzanne Smith

He had been taking a medication called lamotrigine (lamictal) for migraines he had been having. We never even thought what was going on with him could have been an allergic reaction because he had been on it for 12 days. So I thought surely if he was having some type of reaction to it then it would have happened the first night that he had taken it. We had even given him that medicine right before we left to bring him to Kdmc. I was giving him the very thing that was killing him and had no idea.

He was then sent to batsons children hospital in Jackson where they admitted him. We were there for 4 days, and with every day that passed we watched him get worse and worse and still felt like we had no answers. We finally seen a dermatologist who did a skin biopsy on him and then she walked my mother and I out of the room and confirmed to us that he DID indeed have sjs and it had turned into tens. I will never forget her words to us when we asked if he would be okay. She said ” I don’t know, he is a very sick little boy.” Our hearts sank. They then told us that we would be going to another hospital. A burn unit that was more experienced with dealing with sjs/tens.

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Facebook/Mandy Suzanne Smith

So on February 26th we were then air lifted to Augusta Georgia to the doctors hospital. We were only in the airplane for about 2 and a half hours, but that ride felt like eternity. By this point, it had gotten so bad that Zachary’s skin had began to blister and bubble up and was actually coming off. So he screamed and cried the entire ride. He was in more pain than you could possibly even imagine, and as a parent, there is nothing in this world worse than seeing your child hurt and be that sick and not be able to do a thing about it. When we made it to the hospital in Georgia, the doctor met me as soon as we got there and told me their plans. He said that they would be putting him in a medically induced coma and have a machine breathing for him, and they would be doing surgery to remove his skin and then would wrap him in a material called biobrane while his new skin grew back under it. I told Zachary that I loved him and that everything would be okay, kissed him, and then I had to leave the room.

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Facebook/Mandy Suzanne Smith

A few hours later they allowed me to come back into the icu room and see him. He had been put into a coma,was completely wrapped up from head to toe, and had tubes everywhere, with a machine breathing for him. I broke down. I was so overwhelmed and just could not believe that this was actually happening. The only question I could ask the doctor was “is he going to make it?” And when his answer was “I don’t know” that killed me even more. I needed reassurance. I needed to hear “yes, he is going to be okay”

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Facebook/Mandy Suzanne Smith

After being in Georgia for a couple days we ended up going to a hotel. We checked in and I went to my room. When I walked in I seen a bible laying out on the desk and was opened to John 9. So I started to read it. It was a verse about how Jesus had healed a blind man by putting mud on his eyes and then telling him to go to Siloam and wash it off, and when he did his sight was restored. It was then and there at that exact moment that I had received my reassurance. I knew this was the lord telling me, “I’ve got this, put your faith in me and I will deliver” and that is exactly what he did. Zachary’s body had been 90% affected. He also had infection in his lungs. He was very very sick but after being there a month he was alive, awake, and he was healing! The lord put his hands on him and restored him just as the blind man was restored.

Zachary told us that While he was in his coma, he was never actually asleep, and that a strong angel named Samson held him in his arms, and that he had also seen his mawmaw patsy that had passed. He said he laid in her lap and she scratched his back. If that’s not the work of God then I just don’t know what is. We have been so blessed and I will always be thankful. I know this post is long, but It weighed on my heart to tell about what happened to Zachary.

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Facebook/Mandy Suzanne Smith

I know that we all think nothing like this can ever happen to us or our children, but it can. You never know what situation you might find yourself in, but no matter the situation, give it to God. He is mighty and he is faithful and he will be there. I hope these pictures don’t bother anyone, because in the beginning we never intended on anyone to ever see them besides family, but I can’t help but show Gods work. He took what was our biggest nightmare and turned it into our biggest blessing. Not only did Zachary heal, but he has also had no long term complications from being sick. We’ve met so many sjs survivors along the way and I see them struggle all the time from the aftermath of it, and it breaks my heart for them but it also makes us realize how blessed we are that Zachary has not had any problems. Never take your children’s health for granted because it can all change in a second. Zachary is our sjs warrior and we are so thankful to still have him.

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Facebook/Mandy Suzanne Smith

Edited to add: thank you so much to everyone for their kind words ?? To those who believe we discredited the doctors and medical team, it may not have been mentioned in this particular post but I promise we are grateful for them and they will always have a special place in our hearts. They know how much they mean to us.

I’ve tried to keep up with the comments and messages as much as I can, but to those who have had sjs, had/have a loved one with sjs, or anybody that would just like to learn more about it and read other people’s stories, please go like the sjs awareness Louisiana page Renee LaCombes daughter Paige suffered from sjs and since then she has made it her goal to spread awareness and educate others.

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Facebook/Mandy Suzanne Smith

“If This Turns Positive, It Is Freaking Baby Jesus”: Wife Breaks Shocking News to Husband After Bringing Home Adopted Newborn

Faithit
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“If This Turns Positive, It Is Freaking Baby Jesus”: Wife Breaks Shocking News to Husband After Bringing Home Adopted Newborn

“ ‘If this turns positive, it is freaking baby Jesus,’ I said to my husband as I had just finished peeing on a pregnancy test I knew would be negative. He was standing outside the door, holding our precious newborn baby girl we had just brought home from Utah through adoption. I had been vomiting for two weeks, but thought nothing of it because it was ‘just a bug’ that was hanging around a little longer than normal. I will never forget vomiting the morning I took the pregnancy test, and instantly wanting fried chicken. This was when it hit me that this ‘stomach bug’ might not be the stomach bug after all. I can’t blame myself for not thinking much of it; I was severely sleep deprived [of] spending six weeks in a NICU with our teeny 32-weeker, that also happened to be 1,600 miles away from my 4-year-old and 2-year-old.

Courtesy of Rebekah Laskowski

Let me take you back before our lives took a major plot twist. My husband (who also happened to be my very first boyfriend) and I had two beautiful biological children, but our hearts knew our family wasn’t complete. We prayed continuously to expand our family. We were extremely nervous about having another biological child. I had placenta abruption with our healthy son, but he was pre-term. We knew that adoption was on both of our hearts and felt like it was a sign to move forward with expanding our family through adoption. No sooner than we went active with our consultants were we matched with a baby girl, due in late June! Little did we know at the time, our Goldie girl had other plans. She decided she couldn’t wait to meet her precious first mama and us!

Courtesy of Rebekah Laskowski

Goldie Mae came bursting into the world almost 10 weeks early, in April of 2017. Our worlds were rocked. We flew across the country, formed an amazing relationship with her first mama, and prayed that our tiny girl would grow healthy and strong. We spent six long weeks in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU), while our two older kiddos were at home, across the country. Georgia, our oldest daughter, was 4 and Griffin, our only son, was 2. My husband stayed in Utah as long as he could, but ended up flying back home to be with the kiddos and return to work. I flew back and forth a few times and was blessed enough to have my mom, Goldie’s ‘Honey,’ come and stay with her for a long weekend. [Six] exhausting weeks of watching our girl grow and fight and we finally were able to bring her home. I was so thankful that the rollercoaster of emotion was coming to a close… or so I thought.

Courtesy of Rebekah Laskowski
Courtesy of Rebekah Laskowski

Now we are caught up! Enter Sam, my loving, supportive, AMAZING husband cuddling our sweet newborn outside of a bathroom door that I was behind. One stick turned positive and a different kind of vomit happened… word vomit… ‘OHHH SH**!!!’ I guess I said it loud enough for Sam to hear me because he opened the door and asked to look at the test. He then started reading the box saying aloud, ‘Noooo, I don’t think two lines mean positive.’ He handed me two other tests, which both immediately returned positive lines. If I remember correctly, I am pretty sure I threw the last test at him in hysterics. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. So, I did both. We looked at each other and then at our tiny newborn asleep in his arms. He put his hands on our baby in his arms and then on the baby that was growing inside of me. We cried and then we laughed some more. That ‘emotional rollercoaster’ had just taken a sharp right and we were tracking up a STEEP, STEEP, slope.

Courtesy of Rebekah Laskowski
Courtesy of Rebekah Laskowski

I remember my newborn baby girl sleeping on my chest, laying skin to skin at just 7 weeks old, while I was experiencing morning sickness. I remember holding my belly, knowing a 7-week-old baby was growing inside of me, while I held a 7-week-old baby on the outside of me. I had moments of extreme guilt. I was sad that I was taking the ‘baby’ status away from Goldie so quickly. I was heartbroken for my friends who experience years of infertility and failed matches through adoption. I thought, ‘Why me?!’ so, so, many times. I cuddled and loved on Goldie every single day, and soaked in the [nine] months of her being the only ‘baby.’

Courtesy of Rebekah Laskowski

Miraculously, I carried our newest baby girl to 39 weeks. I had never carried a baby that long before! I didn’t know how I would feel when I saw our ‘plot twist’ for the first time. I had created a beautiful bond with Goldie and was scared that I wouldn’t be able to bond with the new baby as easily. Then out she came, like the gorgeous ray of sunshine that she still is today, my Gwyneth Reese. I’m not even kidding you when I say that this baby smiled for the first time at two weeks old. We brought home Wynnie to be welcomed by our 4-year-old, 2-year-old, and 9-month-old. I wish I could accurately express how I felt in that moment — the moment I saw my FOUR babies together, I was breathless.

Courtesy of Rebekah Laskowski

I can’t believe we almost missed this. This true, unbelievable, miracle. I’m just so thankful God’s plans are far better than my own. Everything I had ‘feared’ when pregnant immediately vanished.

Goldie was and still is ‘our baby’ of the family. We actually refer to both of them as ‘the babies.’ Goldie and Gwyneth are now 18 months old and 9 months old. They have the most [amazing], beautiful, bond. Some days are extremely tough, double the diapers, double the crying, double the midnight feedings. I specifically remember the day my husband went back to work. Can y’all believe he left me at home alone with all four?! I remember Gwynnie wanting to breastfeed and Goldie was ready for a snack. I had no idea what to do or how to balance them both. I strapped Gwyneth in the ring sling, whipped out my boob, and prayed my milk wouldn’t drown her while she nursed in the sling for the first time. I strapped Goldie into the high chair, fed her a snack, and EPICLY failed at doing both. Gwyneth screamed and Goldie just wanted mama. I felt like the biggest failure. Like, how do moms of multiples do this? But, the next day, I tried again… it went a little smoother.

Courtesy of Rebekah Laskowski

By the end of that first week by myself, I felt like I could nurse in a sling and hand out baby puffs to an entire tribe. But in the midst of this utter chaos, I’ve found myself. While there may be double the diapers, double the spit up, and double the crying, there is also DOUBLE the love. The pure joy and peace these babies bring me is something I can’t even put into words. I can’t believe I ever wondered, ‘why me?’ Because I am absolutely CERTAIN that my heart was made to be a mama to the most amazing little humans I’ve ever met, and two of them just so happen to be ‘almost twins!’”

Courtesy of Rebekah Laskowski
Courtesy of Rebekah Laskowski
Courtesy of Rebekah Laskowski
Courtesy of Rebekah Laskowski
Courtesy of Rebekah Laskowski

**This story was written by Rebekah Laskowski and originally appeared on Love What Matters. Follow Rebekah on Instagram here. 

To the Man Who Video Taped a Toddler Screaming as Her Mom Overdosed on Heroin

Christine Suhan
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To the Man Who Video Taped a Toddler Screaming as Her Mom Overdosed on Heroin

If you haven’t yet seen this video, I suggest you brace yourself for the flood of emotions that will saturate you if you feel you have to watch it. It is gut-wrenching in so many ways but what I found to be the most heart-breaking and shocking reality of it all, is that a man stood there and watched this horrific scene unfold in front of him and took video of it instead of rushing to comfort the screaming child. I have never witnessed such raw vulnerability from a child and although I can’t know exactly how I will react in a situation I have never experienced, I can guarantee my knee jerk reaction in this scenario would have been to help the child instead of grabbing my phone and exposing the most devastating and traumatic moment of her life on social media.

Our culture needs a serious re-boot, pronto. Since when did getting likes and shares on Facebook replace moral standards? I was taught as a young child to love my neighbor as myself, to be kind and helpful to others in need. When I was growing up, cell phones and social media didn’t even exist. I know, shocking right? And the most outrageous part of this is I’m only 32 years old. It wasn’t all that long ago that our culture was held together with threads of dignity and good faith instead of shock factor and exploitation.

We all know drugs are bad. We know that addiction destroys families. Most of us know this because we, ourselves, have battled addiction or we’ve known friends and/or family members who have. The drug epidemic is a problem in our country. WE KNOW THIS ALREADY. But it seems so many of us are unaware of the underlying issues that perpetuate addiction. They are, in essence, the same underlying issues that warrant such disturbing behavior on social media as exposing a vulnerable child in time of need.

So let’s stop focusing on the isolated incidences such as these and start looking at the big picture. Let’s step away from shock factor and pointing the finger and start turning inward, start looking at ourselves. Because the truth is, people who are addicted to drugs or porn or food or social media, all struggle with the same need: to be seen, heard and understood. Some people fill this need in healthy ways, like real life relationships with people and with God. Others, fill the need with whatever resources they have available to them at the time.

People don’t become addicts because they just wake up one day and decide that they want to destroy their lives. They turn to drugs because they don’t know how to cope with emotional pain. They were never taught to process emotions in a healthy way. They feel a void inside of them and drugs give them an illusion of filling the void. When they take their first drink or their first hit, they don’t plan on becoming addicts, they are just trying to fit in with their peers or trying to escape a reality that is painful.

No one intends on becoming a neglectful parent or endangering their child when they start using. Just like no one intends on becoming the a-hole who just stands there and watches as a child screams for her dying mother. But the reality is that so many of us end up becoming these people we never dreamed we’d be because our culture is saturated in messages of instant gratification. Our culture begs us to sacrifice ourselves and our moral standards for whatever feels good at the time. The only difference between the addict who overdoses in front of her child and the man who stands there with a video camera is what our culture deems as socially acceptable. Both of these adults are harming the child, but in very different ways. The man exploiting the vulnerability of this poor child on social media is not responsible for her well-being but now he’s played a part in destroying the trajectory of her emotional security.

Let’s stop talking about the drug epidemic and start doing something different. Scare tactics are being passed off in school as drug education but clearly they aren’t working. How about we start focusing on treating the underlying issues of addiction instead. Since addiction to anything has the same root, a desperate need to change how we feel, how about requiring schools to pay more attention to mental health and teaching coping skills so children have a chance of becoming healthy adults? How about teaching children and adults to validate themselves so they stop searching for approval from others?

Our culture is just perpetuating the problem instead of working to fix it. My hope is that we work together to restore a society held together by kindness, service and love. That we remember God’s commandment to love our neighbor as our self. And that we pray for this innocent child whose life was just destroyed by addiction as well as social media exploitation.

About the Author: Christine Suhan is a wife, stay at home mother to three wild toddler boys and writer/creator at www.feelingsandfaith.net. She has a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy and enjoys helping people through openly and honestly sharing her journey of life, recovery, mental illness, marriage, parenting and more. You can also find her on her Facebook page.

This Grandma Waved to These Students Every Day—When She Wasn’t There, They Had to Find Her

Kelsey Straeter
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This Grandma Waved to These Students Every Day—When She Wasn’t There, They Had to Find Her

93-year-old Louise Edlen has been waving to this school bus full of lively children for the last 5 years from her little dining room window.

She doesn’t know their names, but she knows their faces. Each morning she waits for their smiles, and she eagerly anticipates their waves back in her direction.

They also don’t know Louise, but according to these students, she’s “part of the family.”

The morning wave has truly become the Arlington school bus No.7’s tradition, so much so, that the kids panicked when they drove by one morning and didn’t see “grandma in the window.”

The bus driver, Carol Mitzelfeld, discovered that Louise had a stroke, and she passed the tragic news onto her students who were seriously worried about their window-waving friend.

One 7th grader, Axtin Bandewerfhorst, told KING 5 News, “Carol was telling us that a lot of times she doesn’t remember her daughter’s name, but she always remembers to wave to the kids on the bus. That made me feel really special.”

Along with the help of Carol, the students decided to surprise Louise in the hospital with flowers.

Louise was overwhelmed with the heartwarming gesture from the kids she barely knew.

Because she couldn’t be there to greet them the next morning, she put up this sign instead.

“That made me really smile,” said 10th grader, Cheyanne Holt. “It shows how much we mean to her.”

So in response, they made this adorable panorama picture of the bus showing them waving to Louise. They decided to bring the bus to her, since she couldn’t come to them.

“This is from the kids. They miss you and want you to get better,” Carol told Louise.

After the stroke, it was very difficult for Louise to talk, but she did manage to respond: “I miss, them too. I’m trying to get better.”

Her husband Dave said seeing the kids on the bus “is everything in the world to her.”

Sadly, Louise died on Christmas Eve a few months later. Her daughter, Cheri Jensen made a sign to put up in the window her mom waved from for the kids to read. It said, “Grandma went to heaven. She loved you all.’”

The story of Louise reminds us to never underestimate just how big the little things can really be. The smiles. The waves. The pats on the shoulder. The simple gestures.

You don’t always have to talk to have a soul connection.

These kids and the “grandma in the window” shared a bond that a thousand words couldn’t do justice.

And it all started with one little wave…

Take 2 Minutes and Experience Autism Through Carly’s Eyes—It’s Breathtaking

Brian Orme
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Take 2 Minutes and Experience Autism Through Carly’s Eyes—It’s Breathtaking

At the age of two, Carly Fleischmann was diagnosed with severe autism and an oral motor condition that prevented her from speaking. Doctors predicted that she would never intellectually develop beyond the abilities of a small child. Carly remained largely unreachable through the years. Then, at the age of ten, she had a breakthrough.

While working with her devoted therapists, Carly reached over to their laptop and typed “HELP TEETH HURT,” much to everyone’s astonishment. Although Carly still struggles with all the symptoms of autism, she now has regular, witty, and profound conversations on the computer with her family and her many thousands of supporters online.

This is what someone with autism goes through.

This event started Carly’s new journey of hope and helped crush stereotypes about people who suffer from severe autism.

Experience autism through Carly’s eyes and what someone with autism goes through in this amazing first-person video.

One of the first books to explore firsthand the challenges of living with autism, Carly’s Voice brings readers inside a once-secret world in the company of an inspiring young woman who has found her voice and her mission.

Hysterical Parody of Moms Who Gave in & Got a Minivan Is Total Parenting GOLD

Kelsey Straeter
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Hysterical Parody of Moms Who Gave in & Got a Minivan Is Total Parenting GOLD

If you’ve got a couple of kiddos already, I imagine this thought has crossed your mind at some point: “Should I get a minivan?”

Known as the official “uncool” badge of mommyhood, chances are it probably also made you cringe just a little bit. Well no fear, these rad mamas are about to show you that the Honda Odyssey is every bit as glam as cruising down the street in that snazzy Corvette (well maybe not quite, but it’ll leave you cry-laughing ’til it hurts anyway).

The Texting Yoga Pants is a group of down-to-earth moms that knows how to get the Internet IN STITCHES over their all-too-relatable parenting videos.

This time, they’ve released a remix of “This Is How We Do It” by Montell Jordan called “Never Thought I’d Do It.”

And it just put minivans BACK on the map!! Check it out below!

 

Mom Criticizes Daughter-in-Law for Not Cleaning the House. Her Husband’s Response Is Everything.

Kelsey Straeter
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Mom Criticizes Daughter-in-Law for Not Cleaning the House. Her Husband’s Response Is Everything.

It’s no surprise that we live in a society that stereotypes gender roles. Though women have come a long way in the world of business, leadership, ministry and beyond, the old mindset of a “woman’s work is in the home” is undoubtedly still clung to by some…one of those being dad blogger Clint Edward’s own mother.

On his Facebook page, “No Idea What I’m Doing: A Daddy Blog,” Clint speaks candidly with his followers about a phone conversation he recently had with his mom about his wife’s “tidiness” —  or lack thereof.

“Doesn’t it bother you that Mel won’t keep a cleaner house?” she asked.

While Clint knew her intent was not to be condescending or hurtful, he couldn’t help but be taken aback a bit.

“I didn’t really know how to respond to my mother, so I floundered,” he said during an awkward pause in conversation. “I never really know what to say in moments like this.”

But after carefully considering how to respond in a truthful way that would respect the two women he loved most in this world, it was Clint’s mother who was left speechless.


No Idea What I’m Doing: A Daddy Blog

After being picked up by Love What Matters, the daddy blogger‘s simple but powerful reply has since been shared thousands of times by couples who can relate all too well:

A few weeks ago I was chatting with my mother over the phone when she said, “Doesn’t it bother you that Mel won’t keep a cleaner house?” It was a Saturday. I was working on the dishes. I honestly didn’t know what to say. My mother didn’t say it in an antagonist way or anything. It was more out of curiosity.

She’d obviously noticed that our home wasn’t all that tidy. Not that it was only Mel’s job to clean it. I see our marriage as a partnership, so cleaning is as much my responsibility as it is hers. I will admit, though, there is often kid clutter, dishes in the sink, and half finished art projects on the counters. I will also admit, it isn’t as clean as my mother’s home, but that doesn’t bother me. In fact, I don’t really think about that at all.

I didn’t really know how to respond to my mother, so I floundered. I never really know what to say in moments like this. But thinking back, I believe my mother’s perception of our house really reflects the era she grew up in.

She’s part of the baby boom generation. I didn’t know my father all that well, but I do remember him giving me this advice about picking a wife: “Stop by her house unexpected. See how it looks in there. You can tell a lot about a woman by how she keeps her house.” I think my mother’s concern over a clean house has a lot to do with her trying to meet the expectations of her youth.

But the thing is, unlike my father, I didn’t really think about a clean house when I married my wife. I thought about how I liked what she had to say. I thought about how she made me feel. I thought about how she smiled a lot. I liked that. I thought about how she was sweet and thoughtful, and how she seemed like the kind of mother I’d want for my children.


No Idea What I’m Doing: A Daddy Blog

After a few moments of struggling to find the right words, I finally said, “I didn’t get into this marriage for a clean house. I got into it because she seemed like someone I could spend my life with.”

Silence.

I put some dishes in the washer. Eventually mom said. “Well…that probably is more important than a clean house.”

“Yeah,” I said, “I think so too.”

Well said, husband of the year.

In a dose of one-liner wisdom, Clint reminds us all that pursuing a woman with a clean heart over a clean house is worth the toast crumbs on the counter any day of the week. ❤️

“The Pain, Unlike My Baby Girl, Would Live on Forever”: Mom Shares Raw, Heartbreaking Stillbirth Story

Kelsey Straeter
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“The Pain, Unlike My Baby Girl, Would Live on Forever”: Mom Shares Raw, Heartbreaking Stillbirth Story

Natalie Morgan went to sleep one evening to the rhythmic kick of her unborn baby inside of her.

But the next morning, she jolted up to the realization that something was wrong with her baby.

Her daughter, Eleanor Josephine, was showing no signs of life within her womb. With no heartbeat on the home doppler, her heart sank to the depths of her stomach. “I knew. I just knew. I didn’t want to know…I wanted to be mistaken, but I knew,” she said.

She prayed relentlessly with her husband Brian the whole way to the hospital, but once they arrived, their worst nightmare was realized — Eleanor was dead.

After Natalie delivered her stillborn daughter, she took to her keyboard to lay out the most painful, yet purposeful, story she would ever write. The raw emotion weaved through every word in her Facebook post has tugged at the heartstrings of mothers everywhere.

But it’s not the emphasis on the stillborn birth that has spawned the viral post. It’s the message of encouragement to mothers to cherish every single moment with their newborns that she never got to have.

And she’s not talking about just the fun ones — but the screaming tantrums and the sleepless nights. She charges moms to relish in the fussy colic, the dirty diapers, and the drool dripping down your chest.

“There will be times your child will scream and cry any time you try to put him or her down,” she wrote.“Or they’ll cry even as they’re in your arms and you’ve done everything you can possibly think of to get them to stop. There will be sleepless nights, multiple diaper changes in a matter of minutes, spit-up in your hair, pee on your shirt, and poop in your hands, and again — so much screaming from the baby, and probably from you as well. Every time that happens, every time you feel frustrated and want to run away, please remember my story.”

Natalie continued by delving into the painful events that transpired that haunting night at the hospital:

“I keep having flashbacks to that moment. It’s a crippling, all-consuming feeling of utter suffocation, and a memory that will haunt me for the rest of my life. In that moment, I felt trapped as if the ceiling was literally crashing down on top of me. I couldn’t breathe, I lashed out, I screamed, I threw things, I threw up…and then a piece of me died with her. I was helpless to change anything. My body was supposed to keep her safe, and instead, it killed her.”

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She didn’t even want the pain numbed, as she knew it would be the last memory she would share with her daughter. And she needed to feel it — every ounce:

“They offered me an epidural, but I couldn’t do it. I needed to own it. I needed the pain, the agony, and misery to mirror what I felt in my heart. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Ever. Dealing with the unbearable contractions, the ring of fire, the tearing…knowing that all of it was for nothing. I was delivering a lifeless child. There would be no happiness at the end of it to help me forget the pain. The pain, unlike my baby girl, would live on forever.”

After the agonizing labor, Natalie got to hold Eleanor for the first time. But six hours later, she could hardly bear to watch her beautiful baby girl deteriorate in her arms.

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She was forced to say her final goodbyes:

“As I stood over her and spent those last few minutes with her, blood was cascading down my legs and onto the floor. I didn’t care — my womb was crying. Everything about me was crying. Watching them wheel her away broke me. My life ended then and there. They wheeled me out of the hospital and I screamed the entire way.”

 

But fully immersed in the most potent form of misery she’d ever experienced, Natalie was able to bring forth the most powerful perspective on the beauty of child-rearing. Her raw advice has given mothers across the globe a reason to be thankful rather than bitter about those middle-of-the-night tantrums:

“But please just remember, while you’re awake at 3 [a.m.] because you have a baby in your arms keeping you up that late, I’m up at 3 [a.m.] because I don’t. And I would give anything in this world to have a baby spitting up on me, being colicky for all hours of the day and night, screaming, not letting me put her down, cracking my nipples from breastfeeding, keeping me up all night.

“…All I ask of you is when you have your dark moments with your baby — when you’re at your wits’ end and feel like you can’t go on anymore when you’re only getting an hour or two of sleep a night — instead of begging your child to go to sleep and being swallowed up in your frustration and exhaustion, find the tiniest bit of strength within you to keep going, and say a prayer of gratitude for your child, as difficult as it may be in that moment.”

Natalie says that what started as a small written expression of her struggle has exploded into a tidal wave of support from all around the world. Moms fed up with their crying babies have contacted her to thank her for shifting their perspective, and parents of stillborns have reached out with a shoulder to cry on.

“I’m not the first mother to have a stillbirth, so my story is not unique — but they’re so rarely talked about, and I had no idea how utterly traumatic and devastating of an experience it is,” she told TODAY Parents. “And, because stillbirths are so rarely talked about, I think there exists this vague notion — even if it’s only subconscious — that those babies never existed or never really mattered.”

Well, Natalie’s story has certainly proved that notion wrong. She even posted a precious moment of Eleanor in her womb to display the beautiful “life” that was inside of her.

Eleanor’s life did matter, and her brief life is now changing the lives of moms everywhere.

Natalie got a tattoo of forget-me-nots as a reminder that Eleanor will always be a part of her. Her sweet daughter will never be forgotten.

“I think it’s every parent’s fear that their stillborn child will be forgotten,” she said. “I want to reiterate that a stillborn child is still a child that lived. I know this to be true because I felt my daughter move. I felt her dance. I felt her live within me. She may never have taken a breath outside my body, but she was a person who existed, who mattered, and who was and is loved to heaven and back.”

“I Wonder if That’s Him. It Was Surreal”: Man Spots Boy He Rescued from Fire 13 Years Later

Kelsey Straeter
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“I Wonder if That’s Him. It Was Surreal”: Man Spots Boy He Rescued from Fire 13 Years Later

It’s easy for some people to reason away the existence of God as they walk through the monotony of daily life, witnessing little that appears to be miraculous.

But every once in a while, a striking moment forces them to acknowledge that life truly must be orchestrated by the divine.

Chris Thorp was graced with such a moment earlier this week when he encountered a young man who he never anticipated seeing over 13 years after he’d rescued him as a little boy.

“Sometimes it’s hard not to believe in higher powers,” Chris wrote on Facebook. “Right now, is one of those moments.”

After spotting a man with injuries and scars that matched who Chris suspected the stranger might be, he thought to himself “I wonder if that’s him…”

Chris made the bold move to walk up to the burn victim and ask him if his name was Christian. Lo and behold, this was the 4-year-old sole survivor of an accident that had scarred both of them forever 13 years ago.

He detailed the rest of their encounter in a touching Facebook post that has since warmed the hearts of thousands across the web:

“I was supposed to be on a Operation Enduring Warrior/ Task Force Sentinel phone call this evening. But instead I picked up Jenah from work, and took her to pick up her car from the mechanic. As we were driving in the parking lot this guy caught my attention. As I drove passed him I muttered to Jenah,  ‘I wonder if that is him…’ Everything about it seemed right. The age, the injuries, the scars……I hadn’t seen him in nearly 13 years, he was 4 years old then, but everything seemed to fit.

Without saying much more to Jenah, I dropped her off at the car, and then found a parking spot. I wasn’t sure how I was going to do this, …..matter of fact, how do you do this?

I slowly walked over to him, and his family. I slowly approached him, and when he looked at me….I shattered the ice.

‘Is your name Christian ?’

‘Yeah’

‘You were in a car fire in Windsor on 101 when you were 5’

‘Yeah’

‘My name is Chris, and I’m the one of the ones who pulled you out’

I’m not sure how he felt, and I’m not sure how I felt, but it was surreal. Here he was….the sole survivor of a crash, that impacted us both in ways I don’t think either of our families truly will ever fully comprehend.

He gave me a brief rundown of his life since. He’s done amazing things, and fought tremendous battles. We didn’t touch on too much, but he’s a serious warrior.

I stopped him dead sentence, and told him I have something for you. I returned and handed him the Gold Medal of Valor (which happened to be in the Jeep glove compartment ) I was awarded for the incident. I explained to him he deserved it far more than I ever did, and he was far more Brave and a Warrior than I ever shall be. He accepted it, and in a lot of ways I realized I had been merely it’s Keeper, until the time came for him to take possession.


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I still don’t know how I feel. Him [sic] and his Family are very much a part of me. A part of me has come home, and at the same moment a huge weight has been lifted from my heart.

Well, Higher Power….If you are there. Thank You.”

Jill Duggar to Dad Jim Bob: “You Treat Me Worse Than My Pedophile Brother”

Jenny Rapson
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Jill Duggar to Dad Jim Bob: “You Treat Me Worse Than My Pedophile Brother”

As far as publicity goes, reality tv star Jim Bob Duggar is not having a great year. First, daughter Jinger Duggar Vuolo’s memoir got a lot of press for criticizing the legalistic fundamentalist brand of Christianity in which they were raised. Then, the Amazon documentary Shiny Happy People raked the Duggars and their affiliation with Bill Gothard’s Institute for Basic Life Priniciples over the coals. And finally, a new, scathing memoir by daughter Jill Duggar Dillard released this week, and an excerpt published in People Magazine shows that it does not portray Jim Bob Duggar in a positive light at all. 

As a matter of fact, during an argument over Jim Bob’s refusal to pay Jill and her husband Derick Dillard for their participation in the reality show Jill and Jessa: Counting On (a show, which I will point out, was literally named after Jill), she says she told him “You treat me worse than my pedophile brother!”

She is referring of course, to her brother Josh Duggar, who sexually molested Jill and some of her sisters when she was young, and is currently serving a prison sentence for downloading child sex abuse material. Jill says both in her book and in the Shiny Happy People documentary that she was devastated when Josh’s abuse of her came to light. She says it was something she had hoped would always stay private, and she still does not like to talk about it. She intentionally leaves those painful details of what her brother did to her out of her book, but does say that she was sickened and could barely eat for weeks when the abuse became known to the world.

Among other accusations that Jill makes against her father, whom she says she “no longer sees one-on-one” is that he paid Josh to be on the reality show 19 Kids and Counting but refused to pay the Duggar daughters, and that he has threatened to lower her inheritance because she has asked to be paid for work she and her husband have done on the show. Eventually, Jim Bob Duggar offered his older children a one-time payment of $80,000 each as compensation, but Jill and Derick turned it down, knowing it was not enough. They later found out that Jim Bob had made $8 million for the reality shows.

After breaking free from the legalistic home in which she was raised, Jill’s memoir also reveals smaller ways in which she’s changed her life that seem huge for someone raised in strict fundamentalism. For instance, she now wears pants, has a nose ring, and sends her sons to public school. These things may seem normal to us, but they are downright scandalous to the family in which Jill was raised.

Jill says that speaking out about the behind-the-scenes life of being raised on TV has been difficult but that’s committed to telling her side of the story, telling People she “feels called to this.” I for one am grateful that she’s telling her story and feel confident that her it will help others who were raised in toxic environments or fundamentalism to break away and find true freedom in Christ.

Jill’s book Counting the Cost in available wherever books are sold.

 

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14-Year-Old Boy In Foster Care Asks For “A Home and People That Love Me”

Jenny Rapson
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14-Year-Old Boy In Foster Care Asks For “A Home and People That Love Me”

Like most kids his age, 14-year-old Darrious is looking forward to high school. He says he even hopes to play football and run track. But unlike most kids his age, what Darrious hopes for most is a family, and a place to call home. He is currently in foster care and lives with other foster kids in a group home.

He recently went on his local news channel WXII in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, in the hopes that someone might see his story and want to adopt him. His gregarious, outgoing personality shines through in the interview.

Darrious, who has a wide, beautiful smile, had just had a special treat: spending the day with a police officer at the Greensboro Public Safety Training facility. After riding in a patrol car, hearing the siren, and learning how to give a proper handshake from Lt. Ryan Todd, he got ready for his on-camera interview. He says he wants to become a police officer or firefighter one day to save lives. But first, he’s got to get through his childhood, and Darrious would really like to finish it out with a family of his own. When asked how he would feel if he got adopted, he says, “Happy, because I would have a home and have people that love me.”

If that doesn’t cut your heart in two, I don’t know what will.

Describing himself to the local news reporter, Darrious said “I am kind and lovable and always hyper. Always hyper.” He also said that he’s always happy, and that being happy is “just his thing.”

Watching his interview, you can’t help but hope that Darrious can be more than happy one day: that one day soon he can have what every child deserves: a loving home with loving parents.

According to the ChildWelfare.gov, there are over 391,000 children in the U.S. foster care system, and that is a national tragedy. If you want to learn more about Darrious or are interested in learning how to become his forever family, you can contact the Children’s Home Society of North Carolina. God bless you, Darrious, I pray you find your forever home!

‘We Have No Visible Finish Line’—The Case for Why Moms Are so Burnt Out

Suka Nasrallah
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‘We Have No Visible Finish Line’—The Case for Why Moms Are so Burnt Out

67 times.

My son called for me 67 times while I was in the shower.

Mind you I started counting halfway in, as a way to keep myself calm and not scream back, so surely it was more than 67 times.

But for the sake of transparency, 67 times.

67 times I listened to him yell ‘mama’ and bang on the bathroom door.

While I stood under the hot water drowning in my tears because I couldn’t bear the sound of his voice anymore and I had no will to reply.

I had no will to keep a conversation going while I was in the shower.

I had no will to keep a conversation going when I desperately needed a few minutes to myself.

Because the coffee just didn’t do it and it was barely 9 a.m.

Because they had been up since 6:45 that morning shouting demands at me.

All I wanted was 10 minutes to myself, but clearly that was too much to ask.

67 times.

Mama
Mama
Mama
Mama
Mama

67 times that word rang in my ears.

This is why mothers are so touched out.

This is why we stay awake so late knowing we’re going to regret it in the morning.

This is why we are always quick to snap.

This is why we are so sensitive.

Because we are desensitized.

We are numb.

We are so beyond worn out,

Burnt out,

Drained,

Struggling,

Misunderstood,

Being needed all the time is simply draining, and a mother never stops being needed.

We have no visible finish line.

***

This post originally appeared on Facebook, published with permission. 

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