Following all of the racial tension, hatred and chaos that broke out in Charlottesville last week, Rachel Macy Stafford, otherwise known as the “Hands Free Mama,” took to Facebook to share a profound lesson her daughter has inadvertently taught her about the color of friendship.
“I’ll never forget what my daughter said after her best friend was subjected to a racist comment on the school bus one afternoon,” she writes.
Hands Free Mama
“She didn’t say anything, so I just scooted closer.” Her daughter reluctantly admitted, “I didn’t know what to do, Mama, so I just hurt with her.”
I hurt with her.
Rachel says that simple but powerful statement from her daughter “took a moment” to recover from. She “filed” those words away and held them close as this dynamic duo grew in their friendship.
“Over the past several years, I’ve noticed how they look out for each other. Whether one gets hurt on the playground…whether one is getting new glasses and needs an honest opinion…whether one needs encouragement at basketball tryouts…whether one is frightened by a dog…they respond compassionately to each other’s needs. When one cannot have a treat due to gluten allergies or braces, the other goes without too. And when they have disagreements, they look into each other’s eyes, listen to each other’s words, and work through it.”
Though they’re young—only 10 years old—and small in stature, this pair radiates a friendship that most adults would kill for. A confidant, a partner in crime, and most importantly, a best friend.
This summer, Rachel says the two girls attended a basketball camp together.
“I saw their initial shock when they realized they were the only two girls. Then I saw them fist bump. They played hard, they cheered each other on, they stayed close. As I dropped my daughter’s friend off on that final day of camp, my daughter said, ‘Thank you so much for going with me to that new camp. If you hadn’t been there, I don’t know what I would have done!’
Hands Free Mama
Her friend stopped, looked right into my daughter’s face and said, ‘If you ever have to go to a new basketball camp, don’t worry. I will always go with you.’”
Rachel says she’s blown away by the lessons she’s constantly learning from observing the beautiful friendship between these two girls.
“Again and again, I take note of what these two friends have to teach me.
And today, I hope the world will take note too.”
Then she poses a challenge to everyone who reads this post—and beyond:
“What if we collectively remember ‘I’ll hurt with you’ is something we can all do when we don’t know what to do?
What if we collectively look into the eyes of our brothers and sisters to acknowledge their story and their pain rather than closing our eyes or looking away?
What if we collectively acknowledged our privileges and blessings would be even greater if shared by our sisters and brothers?
What if we collectively agree it is not ‘your back’ or ‘my back’ but “our back” if we are to create a unified and peaceful world for future generations?”
I think we can all agree there is a lot on the line for our country right now. Unity, peace, progress, understanding and love are all on the line, and it’s hard to know if they’re going to make the cut.
As she’s processing all of these “what ifs,” and thinking about how we can all make a difference in the world, Rachel received a text from her husband that confirmed the lessons to be learned from “this mighty team.” A photo of the two girls sitting on the sidelines of a local football game put it all into perspective:
Hands Free Mama
“The goal of this mighty little team is not to win, have the most, or be the best.
The goal of this mighty little team is to love…to love each other as they want to be loved.
The goal of this team is to have ‘our back.’
For they know they are stronger together than they are alone.
Let us take note.
There’s so much on the line.
But love can prevail.”
