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20 Things My Divorce Taught Me About Marriage

Years ago, a newly divorced Gerald Rogers took to Facebook to reflect on what he wishes he would have known before it was too late. He admits there were a lot of things he could have done differently to save his marriage, and he openly shared the self-effacing letter in the most humble and real way.

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8 Warning Signs You’re Dealing With an Energy Vampire

4. Emotional Intensity

Energy vampires often share their problems and vent excessively, expecting you to offer solutions or at least an ear at all times. Their issues are frequently presented with high emotional intensity, which can be overwhelming and exhausting to handle, especially if every interaction is high stakes.

  • Example 1: They often have a crisis that requires your immediate and undivided attention, disrupting your own schedule or emotional peace.
  • Example 2: They express overly dramatic reactions to minor inconveniences or disagreements, escalating small issues into major conflicts.
  • Example 3: Their emotional expressions are disproportionate, like crying over minor critiques or yelling during what should be a calm discussion.

5. Overstepping Boundaries

These individuals frequently overstep personal boundaries, asking inappropriate or overly personal questions, or demanding attention and time without consideration for others’ comfort or schedules. They often require more than what is reasonable to ask of someone outside of a close, personal relationship.

  • Example 1: They call late at night or very early in the morning, expecting you to be available to talk regardless of the time.
  • Example 2: They ask overly personal questions or delve into private matters without your invitation.
  • Example 3: They show up at your home or workplace unannounced and assume it’s fine to stay as long as they like.

6. They Don’t Reciprocate

Relationships with energy vampires are typically one-sided. They take a lot more than they give, rarely offering support or understanding in return. This imbalance can leave you feeling unappreciated and depleted.

  • Example 1: You consistently offer them emotional support, but when you need support, they are suddenly too busy or simply uninterested.
  • Example 2: You give thoughtful gifts or remember special occasions, but they rarely acknowledge or reciprocate your gestures.
  • Example 3: They take advantage of your skills or resources—like using your car or borrowing money—without offering anything in return.

7. Victim Mentality

Energy vampires often see themselves as perpetual victims, blaming others and external circumstances for their misfortunes. This victim mentality prevents them from taking responsibility for their actions and contributes to their draining effect on others.

  • Example 1: They blame everyone else for their failures or misfortunes, never acknowledging their role or the consequences of their choices.
  • Example 2: They portray themselves as the perpetual target of unfair treatment at work, in friendships, or by family, even when evidence suggests otherwise.
  • Example 3: They manipulate others by portraying themselves as misunderstood or mistreated, drawing sympathy and attention.
Staff
Staff
FaithIt staff contributed to this article.

20 Things My Divorce Taught Me About Marriage

Years ago, a newly divorced Gerald Rogers took to Facebook to reflect on what he wishes he would have known before it was too late. He admits there were a lot of things he could have done differently to save his marriage, and he openly shared the self-effacing letter in the most humble and real way.

10 Revealing Facts About How Often Couples Fight—and What’s Actually Normal

Learn how often couples fight and what's considered normal. Explore 10 revealing facts about relationship conflicts and tips for handling arguments in healthy ways.

Infidelity Doesn’t Just Happen. It Starts With 4 Subtle Warnings.

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