The next few months were the hardest. My husband and I grieve very differently, and we had to both try and help our boys, now 3 and 5, grieve their sister. They always talk about her and we never stop them as much as its hard to hear at times. We will never let them forget their brave, strong and beautiful little sister who was dealt the worst cards possible.
It hasn’t been easy having to see little girls everywhere. All our friends and family have girls and it constantly reminds us what we are missing out on. I constantly imagine what she would be like now and often wake from a dream to think the whole thing was just a bad dream and that she’s still here which is heartache all over again.
This Christmas will be our first without our girl and Christmas shopping for the boys has been horrible. I hate having to see all the girly things I can no longer buy and the only thing any of us want for Christmas we will never get.
Piper’s journey was extremely hard on all of us but it also taught us so many things. It’s taught me about a whole different world no one knows about. There isn’t enough awareness, funding, or support for childhood cancer. Childhood cancer is so very isolating. You spend your days driving to appointments, being in the hospital, and still having to do the day-to-day tasks that come with having a family.
The housework doesn’t stop, nor do the bills. My perspective on life has completely changed. We don’t take anything for granted. Every day is a blessing and it’s not worth worrying about the little things. Those little moments are what you will remember forever. As much as my boys can drive me mad some days, I am so so thankful to have them here driving me mad and just wish more than anything Piper was too.”
**This story was written by Meagan Collard and originally appeared on Love What Matters. Follow her journey on Facebook and Instagram.
