"One stick turned positive and a different kind of vomit happened… word vomit… ‘OHHH SH**!!!’ I guess I said it loud enough for Sam to hear me, because he opened the door and asked to look at the test. He then started reading the box saying aloud, ‘Noooo!'"
"Why not curtail the implications of Adam and Eve’s choice? What if—instead of completely poisoning the human race—eating this fruit just gave them explosive diarrhea for a year?"