"I question my own motives in writing this. Is it sordid? Is it to gain sympathy? Is it to avoid criticism or worse, to benefit from the publicity criticism brings? Lord, I hope not."
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"The guy was like, ‘The biggest risks are cramping, dehydration, and diaper rash.’ DIAPER RASH! I was NOT ready for this dude to come at me with diaper rash. I completely lost it."