“I am 39 years old and my journey has been a long one. As I approached the age of 36, I was still single and had not yet found a partner in life. My dream had always been simple: become a mother. I was not willing to sacrifice becoming a mom because I hadn’t found a husband yet.
In 2015, I found out I had a low egg reserve. My reproductive endocrinologist told me, ‘If you want to have children, you have to do it soon.’ Due to health complications, I waited until January of 2017 to get pregnant.
During that time, I researched donors, selected one, and prepared myself for my solo journey to motherhood. But I was unsuccessful. In February of 2017, just 6 weeks into my first pregnancy, I miscarried. Luckily, a few months later, I became pregnant with twins!
To say I was shocked, scared, and elated was an understatement. How was I going to take care of 2 babies at the same time as a single mother? At the same time, I was so excited that I was going to have 2 beautiful children. I have addressed everything in my life head-on and this was not going to be any different.
Although my family was worried for the same reasons, they knew if anyone could handle this it would be me. At 14 weeks, I got more thrilling news. ‘You’re having a boy AND a girl!’ I thought to myself, ‘One of each. How perfect!’
However, at 16 weeks, I started to feel contractions. I was on and off bleeding and honestly didn’t know what was wrong with me. So, I took myself to the hospital where I saw my two babies on the ultrasound, looking completely fine. My OB examined me further and said, ‘You’re dilated. You must’ve been in labor.’
I was in extreme pain, but it had never crossed my mind that I was in actual labor. I couldn’t believe what I was being told. It was an out of body experience. Were my babies not going to survive? I didn’t have much time to process it all. Within minutes, I was transferred to the labor and development floor where I delivered my son, Buchanan, shortly after. Three hours later, my daughter Leonor ‘Nori’ Bowman arrived into the world, lifeless.
