A Word to the Working Mom, When Your Kids Miss You at Home

I held my [8]-year-old daughter in my arms, stroking her hair and kissing the top of her head. She wiped the tears from her eyes, sniffled, and buried herself deeper into my chest. We held each other for a long time.

“I’m sorry, baby,” I had said.

That’s really all I could say. Well, I said other things, trying to explain why it was necessary and such, but I knew that whatever I said didn’t really matter. At the time she just needed me to hold her.

“What if we stop asking for so many toys in the store that we don’t need? Would that help?” She asked.

My heart broke at her comment, so sweet, so naive, and I also felt burdened by Mommy Guilt.

I had not always worked full time, and that was probably part of the problem. Since she had been 9-months-old I had worked only part-time. Desiring to be a mother more than anything we had made the changes to make part-time work a possibility for me. It involved my husband working overtime, me picking up something I could work on the side from home, and not indulging in frivolous things. We were a family that believed in a mindset of the husband being the primary breadwinner, and we carried that model out for a successful six years. So my eldest had gotten used to having me around more. My younger children seemed to be adjusting well, but my oldest had been very emotional about me going to work the past month or so.

“I wish you didn’t have to go to work,” she would exclaim!

It tore my heart open.

That’s the thing, you know. Moms have this unique parenting desire to be everything for their children. We want to be the present mom, but also the one that can shower them with presents! And although we know time is more important than anything, that doesn’t change the reality of bills or necessities. I had been a “mostly” stay-at-home mom for six or seven years, but then circumstances had required a change. After much prayerful consideration and discussion I re-entered the full-time workforce, and though I found my vocation as a nurse extremely rewarding and satisfying, the challenges of being a working mom were huge.

I wanted to be everything my children needed me to be.

This morning as I was thinking about it I felt the Lord impress this to my heart.

It’s not how much you work, but rather the quality of the time you are home.

I smiled immediately.