When Your Child Has a Mountain to Climb

At this time one year ago, our son was stressed and sad. The physical and emotional effects of his foster care and adoption history were taking their toll. Childhood trauma placed him at the foot of a dark, high mountain that he never chose to climb. School performance and behavior suffered, tough questions stole his sleep, and playful laughter gave way to anxiety and tears. In all this, we decided to bring him home from school for a semester — giving ourselves several months to hold him close and dial down the anxiety and frustration he felt every day in the classroom.

Since then he’s found a place of belonging in a new school. Informed, accurate diagnoses give us the “why’s” we were lacking before. He now has a team of support wrapped around him, ready to help him heal and move forward.

Yet as grateful as I feel to find the professional care and encouragement he needs, I find myself unsettled. Worried. Helpless. A little angry, even. No one can make the trek up the mountain to wholeness for him. As much as we can load his pack with gear and cheer him on along the path, it’s his journey alone.

So like all of us who claim belief in a good and loving God, our faith runs smack into the reality of pain and the “not fair!” of life in this broken world. Is anything less fair than beautiful, innocent kids hurting and struggling by no fault of their own?

We’re not unique in this since every child and family [go] through hard things. Our friends were blindsided before the holidays by their son’s medical test results — the what-ifs could bend them to the ground. Another’s daughter gave up dreams and plans, forced home by her own health battles. Still, another stands by as their child seems determined to self-destruct through stubbornness and foolish choices. Each parent gave their all. They prayed. They loved, blessed, and encouraged. Each sought help from every angle. And yet, their sons’ and daughters’ visions of the future are altered beyond recognition.

At the base of whatever mountain my child or yours must climb, we have two choices:

We can fight to take control on the outside while sinking into despair on the inside, or we can hold on to what we believe is true:

God knows. (Psalm 139:1-6)

The One who made the universe made my child, too. (Psalm 139:13-16)