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Where Is God When Depression & Anxiety Consume a Christian?

It was the end of July, and I stood silently beside my husband in church. I reached my hand for his, and the way he squeezed back my grip let me know he felt much the same as me. A lump sat heavily in my throat, tears threatened, and then the dam broke as they slid down my face and dropped onto the floor. In my periphery, I could see my husband’s eyes also overflowing as the weight of the worship song’s truth somehow lifted some of the weight we had been feeling.

Then You crash over me and I’ve lost control but I’m free. I’m going under. I’m in over my head.

And that was certainly how we felt, like we were in over our head, drowning. In so many ways our lives had never been more abundant and blessed. We had a blissfully happy marriage, four adorable daughters, and the home of our dreams. We both had a colored past, with mistakes made, broken marriages, and addiction, but through the love of God we had risen above it all, found healing, and found a deeper relationship with the Lord. It was almost like a fairy tale for the past few years. Every day together had gotten better, and we had grown so much as a couple and individually. Are you waiting for the but?

But… we both had noticed something amiss. We were both experiencing an unwelcome depression and anxiety in our lives. We woke with it heavy upon us, and had begun burying ourselves in the scripture as a form of dealing with it. Reading God’s Word was the only thing we found that lessened the unwelcome, negative emotions that tried to bombard us. It was strange, but there was a yearning and thirst for the Bible that ran alongside the onslaught of melancholy madness.

Then had come what felt like a spiritual attack. In addition to the depressed mood came physical problems. Car trouble, home maintenance issues, a horrible stomach virus that went through our home, and even an unfounded lawsuit against my blog. My husband’s business was having serious financial problems that were only growing worse, and my own small business had taken a major hit that made me question if it was even what God wanted me to do anymore. We felt like at a time when we were the closest to God we had ever been, we were also being beaten down by life.

When we talked about it together we realized we had both been praying for God to draw us closer to Him, to show us His will for our lives. So why did it feel like He was crushing us?

Brie Gowen
Brie Gowenhttp://briegowen.com/
Brie Gowen is a 30-something (sliding ever closer to 40-something) wife and mother. When she’s not loving on her hubby, chasing after the toddler or playing princess with her four-year-old, she enjoys cooking, reading and writing down her thoughts to share with others. Brie is also a huge lover of Jesus. She finds immense joy in the peace a relationship with her Savior provides, and she might just tell you about it sometime. She’d love for you to check out her blog at BrieGowen.com.

Toddler is Sick With Mystery Illness for 3 Months When Doctors Finally Discover What’s Lodged in Her Nose

A mom from the UK is sharing her story after her toddler suffered for three months with a mystery illness caused by an object unknowingly lodged in her nose.

Candace Cameron Bure’s Dreamy Family Vacation in Italy: ‘Take Me Back’

Candace Cameron Bure, loved for her roles on "Full House" and "Fuller House," recently took to Instagram to reminisce about her family's dream summer vacation in Italy.

Chip and Joanna Gaines: 11 Godly Secrets to an Epic Marriage and Family

Chip and Joanna Gaines are teaching us important lessons about marriage and family as they walk away from their HGTV show for the sake of their family.