“I woke up this morning and all that kept going through my head was ‘everywhere I go, I love you so,’ and I knew I had to call you,” my aunt gleefully relayed with a giggle.
I laughed too as I thought about my debut album from over thirty-five years ago. She was referring to a song I had written when I was five years old. My mom had recorded it on a cassette tape and given a copy to her only sister to enjoy. It was that stellar performance that came into her head that morning, and we both laughed at the sweet remembrance.
“You know, I guess you’re the only one…” as my voice cracked with emotion my sentence broke off abruptly.
I collected myself and tried again.
“You’re the only one still alive who remembers me at that age,” I finally managed to get out.
We ended up talking on the phone for another 45 minutes. We didn’t have anything in particular to discuss, nothing exciting or worth writing home about, so to speak, but our conversation lingered along as we discussed mundane details, wall border, and other uninspiring topics. Yet it was wonderful. When I hung up the phone I smiled with contentment for the privilege of relationship with someone I held so dear. Life had dealt me the kind of hand where I understood loss. It had caused me to appreciate more those who remained on this earth with me.
As I got to work this morning and looked at the date on the computer it hit me that today was my mother’s birthday. I realized quickly that had she still been alive she would be 64 years old today. And then it hit me that she had been gone for ten years.
Ten years!
The weight of time took my breath away. The gap between the age of her death and my own current age were not that far apart. The thought crossed my mind that if I were to die as young as my mother, I would only have thirteen more years left on this earth. When I thought of all the things that remained that I still wanted to see, do, experience, and impact, that seemed like a terribly short amount of years. Imagine if you only had a little over a decade left of life? How would that change how you loved each day?