The only thing that changed was your expectations, not the room. We can experience tremendous anxiety and sadness when we set unrealistic expectations in place.
2. Selfishness
When I was younger, I imagined my spouse would dote on me each day. Why didn’t I picture all of the things I would do for him? Maybe it’s because I am a tad bit selfish. Maybe we are all a tad bit selfish. In our culture, we tend to grasp at comfort and leisure. We love the idea of being nurtured and coddled, even to the point of becoming demanding. We all have needs that need to be met, but we can’t expect our spouses to be the ones to always meet those needs. They will eventually burn out.
I am learning to view my husband as my fellow sojourner; the one who is on this earthly pilgrimage with me. Too often I want him to solve all of my problems. But he isn’t my emotional ATM, he is my best friend. I can’t just withdraw constantly with no thought to his own emotional health. I should want the best for him and should be concerned about his well being. Instead of wondering what I can get out of him on any given day, I should instead wonder how I can help him out. He has a tough job, leading our family, and I don’t envy the pressure he must feel at times. I hope he knows I appreciate his efforts, and not only love who he is today, but who God is making him to be.
I may not have the marriage I pictured, but I have the marriage that is best for me. By expecting less, and being grateful for more, I am able to see things clearer and not stumble over the bitterness and anger that comes with a wrong perspective.
