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2 Reasons Your Marriage Isn’t The One You Dreamed Of

Our marriage does not match the one I imagined as a girl. It doesn’t even come close to comparing to the marriages I see on Facebook, or sitting in church a few rows in front of us. I know comparing gets us nowhere, but nothing about my husband is what I pictured him to be. Aren’t we all a bit taken aback after the wedding bells stop chiming and everyday life hits?

The thing is, while my husband isn’t at all what I had created in my imagination while I was single, he is a blessing to me in ways I never anticipated. He is far better in ways that really matter. I know I am not everything Scott imagined in a wife. In fact, I am sure he was a little shell-shocked. But God knew perfectly well what He was doing when he put us together. We are pretty opposite, but we balance each other out in so many ways. He supports me in ways I never knew I would even [ever] need help with.

I laugh now at the things I had hoped he would be. Some of them seem so silly now. In fact, they pale in comparison with the man God actually gave me. It has been difficult at times, but God is faithful and we are proof that He sanctifies and redeems. He turns our failures around for good. If we aren’t careful, we can invite unneeded misery when we allow these two things to rule us:

1. Expectations

Isn’t so much of our disappointment based on failed expectations? Tim Keller explained it well in one of his messages. He said to imagine you are about to enter a room. The person you are with tells you it’s an unbelievable room. It’s a honeymoon suite that is filled with luxury. You open the door and there you see a plain room with one bed and a television. You feel let down and sad because it did not come close to your expectations. It is a really horrible room! Now imagine you are about to enter the same room and have the same person standing next to you. That person tells you that you are about to enter the coldest, darkest prison cell on the planet. It is depressing and uninviting. You walk into that room and see the same bed and the same television, but you are thinking it’s not a bad room at all! It is much better than you expected.

Michelle Lindsey
Michelle Lindsey
Michelle Lindsey is a Jesus-loving wife of more than two decades and a homeschooling mom of four who blogs about what happens when romance meets reality (with her adult daughter!) at Nitty Gritty Love. You can find more Nitty Gritty Love on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Instagram.

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