When they’re all grown I hope they can look back and have fond memories of fun things we did, and know that they were loved and cherished.
Like I said, I’m a work in progress, but I’ve found that it’s getting much better. When I feel myself getting angry, flustered, or like I’m about to pop, I take a moment and pray. I quiet my mind, heart, and clear my head. I ask myself, “is this really that big of a deal?” Usually it’s not so I proceed in a milder manner than I first desired. But here’s the thing too. If I do “mess up” at motherhood in my mind I try not to beat myself up about it. Usually if I’m mindful enough to think I’m doing a bad job then I’m probably doing pretty darn good in my kids’ eyes.
I started a while back asking my children a couple of questions at bedtime.
I’ll ask, “did you have a good day today?”
And, “what was your favorite part.”
It makes me want to cry thinking about it, but each time they will answer two things. They’ll say their favorite action such as going to the park, but they’ll always preface it by answering, “my favorite part of the day was spending time with you.”
Spending time with me. That’s what it’s all about, and at the end of the day for me I want to know that the time we spent together was filled with gratitude, not frustration. Seeing that it was… that’s my favorite part.