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An Apology From an Accidental Racist

I’ve reached the point where I need to repent.

A lump wells in my throat as, for the past couple months, I’ve read article after article on the black experience in America, and become more aware of the suffering taking place at the hands of a very corrupt system.

#BlackLivesMatter was something I once thought was common sense. I’ve never considered myself a racist and have always extended love and respect to people of every skin color. I thought hating Trump was enough to qualify as a non-racist.

But in the words of King’s Kaleidoscope (fronted by a white singer),

I’m complicit in the prejudice, it’s automatic
I take advantage being born into my demographic
But what’s a blessing when it generates a struggle of a color
For the privilege of another?
In my whitewashed tomb
I’ve become immune
Oh, my God, oh, my God

In the same song, spoken word artist Propaganda notes that “Oh, you tweeted about it? …Most don’t notice the system till it turns against them.”

And that’s exactly what I’ve realized lately. Of course, the system has not turned against me (I’m a white male…come on), but what I have begun to do is seek to understand the system. And I have barely scratched the surface, but what I’m beginning to realize is that I have absolutely taken advantage of my passive participation in a corrupt system, but I don’t want this to become another Systems post.

So what’s this post for, then?

It’s primarily to repent and apologize. It’s a nuanced tightrope to walk between advocating social justice without falsely accusing all white people of individual sin and inducing unnecessary (and unproductive) white guilt. Here are a few thoughts.

I’m sorry for making racist jokes.

They’re harmless, right?

The more I read about people losing brothers, daughters, parents, and other loved ones as a result of gang violence, police violence, or any of the other plethora of sources of violence many black and Hispanic people face in America which I will never have to, the harder it is to take it lightly. In fact, I become disgusted by myself for even laughing at or making certain jokes myself.

I do not think jokes are harmless. We joke most about the things we are most ashamed of, and I can’t help but wonder if there is a collective white shame which is revealed through this sort of joking.

Jokes build walls, not bridges.

And I do not want to be the type of person who builds a wall.

In a recent exegetical paper for class, I’ve come to realize that this is a decent way to sum up many of Jesus’ social teachings: You can either use everything at your disposal to build fences from others and segregate yourself from those you don’t want near you, or you can use your resources to build bridges and span the barriers created by race, economic level, or any other dividing factor.

Ethan Renoe
Ethan Renoehttp://ethanrenoe.com/
Ethan is a speaker, writer, and photographer currently living in Los Angeles. He has lived on 6 continents, gone to 6 schools, had 28 jobs, and done 4 one-armed pull-ups. He recently graduated from Moody Bible Institute. Follow him at ethanrenoe.com or check him out on Facebook

WATCH: Sisters Sing Bone-Chilling Easter Rendition of Leonard Cohen’s ‘Hallelujah’

The young sisters from Fort Frances, Ontario sing an Easter rendition of Leonard Cohen's famous "Hallelujah," that is so beautiful, it'll bring tears to your eyes.

What Is Maundy Thursday?—How to Celebrate During Holy Week

As we celebrate Holy Week, the week leading up to Easter, you may start to wonder, what is Maundy Thursday? Three days before Easter, we come to Maundy Thursday. "Maundy" comes from the Latin word "mandatum," meaning command, order, or commission.

Abby & Brittany: Conjoined Twin Abby Hensel is Married!

They’re the most famous conjoined twins in the world, and now Abby Hensel, of the duo Abby and Brittany, is now married!