What they say about marriage is true: It ain’t always easy, but it sure is worth it. At least, that’s what most people tend to believe. Unfortunately, the other thing they say is also true: that 50 percent of marriages will end in divorce so all couples could use marriage savings tips.
We live in a microwave culture where instant gratification is the only method of survival. When something is broken, we no longer fix it but replace it. The same is true for relationships. Sex and purity are no longer sacred. Hard work is no longer worth the prize, and the Bible’s teachings about divorce and infidelity are the last place people turn when they need answers.
Marriage is messy because let’s be honest, life is messy. But when a lightbulb in your dining room burns out, you don’t sell the whole house for a new one. You gently remove the broken lightbulb and replace it with one that shines brighter than before.
The same is true for our relationships. We have to remove the broken pieces from within us — those that overtime stop shining a light — and fix what is broken.
Before you hire the divorce lawyer, check out these 10 marriage saving tips
Take it from some brothers and sisters in Christ who have been there — it’s not all sunshine and daisies, but having the tools to repair what was brought together by God and for God is MORE than worth the effort.
1. Let go of your need to control.
There’s a lot of things that will kill a marriage, but for wife and mother Jordan Harrell, her need for control was one of them. I think it’s something every married person can relate to whether your story sounds similar to hers or not.
Jordan humorously tells about a time when she attended a women’s conference the day after fighting with her husband about new floors. NEW FLOORS. That in itself is the most relatable part of the story to me. Stop for a second and think about the very last thing you and your spouse had an argument about. I’m 90 percent confident it would make you blush if you had to share it with a group. But the fact of the matter is that our “silly” arguments aren’t really rooted in “where the cheese grater actually gets put away,” but rather, the underlying need for control in our relationships that we’re often blind to.
2. Asking yourself, “Would I do this if my spouse was standing right here beside me?”
The One Question That Will Save Your Marriage
There is no magic equation, no simple solution to a perfect marriage. In fact, such a thing doesn’t even exist.
However, while having a perfect marriage is an unrealistic expectation, having a Christ-like marriage means constantly striving for a perfection that will never be attainable.
With that in mind, Brie Gowen believes there is one seemingly simple question that will save every marriage from the fiery darts of this world. In fact, it’s such a powerful perspective that your marriage can’t help but be radically changed just from cognitively being aware of it.
3. Get your marriage back on the right track with the right thinking.
It’s a question most of us have prior to getting married, and secretly have sometimes after tying the knot — especially when the going gets tough.
In this piece, Noah Filipak gets real about the stupid questions we ask ourselves about marriage and our spouse. Not because they have no answer, but because they simply just aren’t real.
“Each time you ask that question, you are only depriving your actual reality of much-needed investment. The grass is not greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it.”
Noah breaks down the deception beneath all of the fearful fantasies we concoct in our mind and gets your marriage back on the right track with the right thinking.
4. Put God first.
In today’s culture, it’s not rare to hear someone make this statement. However, when you get to reading Danielle Renfrow’s story, it won’t take long to learn that her version of cheating on her husband isn’t quite what society would think.
First of all, adultery and lust aren’t even a part of it, which poses the question: How the heck did she cheat on her husband. And while you’ll have to read her piece in order to find out, I can tell you that she hit the nail RIGHT on the head with this one. Sometimes cheating isn’t about lust or adultery or all of this Hollywood junk that we fall into. Sometimes, like in Danielle’s case and even my case, it’s a matter of idolatry.