Ah, the Proverbs 31 Woman.
We hold up this fictional woman and point to her, saying, “That. That is who we should strive to be.”
In a world obsessed with perfection, it is so tempting to toss her up onto projector screens as a prescription for how to become the perfect woman and the perfect wife. We teach it to each other and we preach it to our daughters.
THE MYTH OF PERFECTION
As a teenager, I interpreted her identity as an identity I, too, should strive for: as a woman of God, as a wife and as a mother. She was everything I was supposed to be. It is a vicious way to live, as we try to reconcile who we are with who we believe we should be.
The attributes described in Proverbs 31:10-31 are not bad. They are good, important and biblical. The problem lies in the guilt that this description inevitably places on many women within the Church. Let’s face it: We can’t measure up to this lady—and I don’t think we are meant to.
As I continued to read articles and listen to sermons dedicated to how to become “a godly woman” by following this passage, I realized two things:
The Proverbs 31 Woman is literally fictional.
There are real-life women in the Bible who do not fit this description whom God still used in miraculous ways to further His Kingdom. A lot of them.
ACTUAL WOMEN OF THE BIBLE
Since Genesis, God has used women of all backgrounds, ethnicities, careers, relationship statuses and reputations as important and necessary characters in His great love story for humanity.
In a walk-through of the Bible, we read about many unique women purposed by God in His time and in His way.
SARAH
Sarah was a good wife but was cynical about the future and even laughed when God promised her a son in her old age. Sarah did not trust God to keep the promises He had made, and yet He chose to keep them anyway. And from her lineage, Christ was eventually born. God wrote an old, cynical lady into His story.
DEBORAH
Deborah was a warrior and the leader of Israel. She was strong and wise, fighting for justice and holding court under the Palm of Deborah. She was quite likely the opposite of gentle, quiet, demure. Under her authority, the Lord led the Israelites out of bondage. God wrote a feisty warrior into His story.