Dear Daughter, Don’t Apologize


Sometimes it screams in the rant of a chauvinistic colleague telling a woman at the round table to keep her opinions to herself.

Sometimes it slips subtly into the Photoshopped thigh-gap of a Victoria’s Secret model.

…But where ever we go, there seems to be a voice telling women, “You’re not good enough.”

Look this way. Talk that way.

Be skinnier. Be prettier.

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Smile more. Talk less. 

Be wary of being too bold. Do as you’re told. 

Fit THIS mold. 

In some regards, society has come a long way in advocating for women—but in others, it seems we are merely a modernized version of the 1920s housewife.

Well, one mom is out to shatter that stereotype, and call this generation of daughters to be a bold voice unto the world.

In a viral Facebook post, down-to-earth mommy blogger Toni Hammer pens a letter that is sending a powerful message to women across the web—and it’s the reminder EVERY daughter needs to hear today:

“To my daughter,

Don’t apologize when someone else bumps into you.

Don’t say ‘sorry to be such a pain.’ You’re not a pain. You’re a person with thoughts and feelings who deserves respect.

Don’t make up reasons as to why you can’t go out with a guy you don’t wanna go out with. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. A simple ‘no thanks’ should be acceptable.

Don’t overthink what you eat in front of people. If you’re hungry, eat, and eat what you want. If you want pizza, don’t get a salad just because other people are around. Order the [darn] pizza.

Don’t keep your hair long to make someone else happy.


Don’t wear a dress if you don’t want to.

Don’t stay home because you don’t have anyone to go out with. Take yourself out. Have experiences by yourself and for yourself.

Don’t hold back your tears. Crying means you’re feeling something that needs to get out. It’s not a weakness. It’s being human.

Don’t smile because someone told you to.

Don’t be afraid to laugh at your own jokes.

Don’t say ‘yes’ to be polite. Say ‘no’ because it’s your life.

Don’t hide your opinions. Speak up and speak loudly. You should be heard.

Don’t apologize for being who you are. Be brave and bold and beautiful. Be unapologetically you.”

So there you have it.

Embrace the messy, beautiful you that only your DNA can grace this generation with…because the off-kilter, unapologetic version of yourself that scares the pants out of the perfectionist in your head is EXACTLY the one this world is dying to see.

Take Toni’s charge to heart today—and unleash the BOLD.

Kelsey Straeter
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Kelsey is an editor at Outreach. She’s passionate about fear fighting, freedom writing, and the pursuit of excellence in the name of crucifying perfectionism. Glitter is her favorite color, 2nd only to pink, and 3rd only to pink glitter.