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Daughter Texts Mom “I’ll Be Home Soon” from Burger King Bathroom—20 Minutes Later, Her Worst Nightmare Comes True

"She's my only daughter, my best friend. She was supposed to start her new job today, now she's on life support.”

To the Stranger Who Gave My 3-Year-Old a Bracelet in the McDonald’s Bathroom

"You heard me tell her we had a long drive home and she needed to use the potty. You heard her tell me she was scared the toilet would flush while she was sitting on it."

Daughter’s “Pootergirl” Costume for Picture Day Goes Viral After She Rejects Dad’s Outfit Choices

"She walked up, looked over each of her choices, turned and said ‘POOTERGIRL!’ and well…I couldn’t argue with that answer...”

“Hey Friend, I’m Coming Over. Please Don’t Clean Up. Don’t Dress Up. Please Just BE.”

Hey Friend, I’m coming over.

Please don’t clean up. Please don’t dress up.

The only ‘up’ I expect is the acting up that our children will be doing. The only ‘up’ I won’t allow is us getting fed up with the chaos that is sure to ensue and encircle us.

Hey Friend, I’m coming over.

Please don’t stress the mess. Please don’t apologize for planning less.

The only stress I want to see is when that shiitake leaves your being with each laugh you let out.

The only plan I will allow is the one that states that when we are together, we must chill the fudge out.

Hey Friend, I’m coming over.

Please don’t be embarrassed by your child’s behavior. Please don’t judge me for that of mine.

The only thing you are allowed to be embarrassed about is your lack of ‘give a fudge.’

Please don’t judge me when I spend our time together convincing you not to give a fudge.

Hey Friend, I’m coming over.

Please feel free to whine. Please feel free to wine. If you need to whine, I’m all ears. If you need to wine, I’ll bring a bottle.

Hey Friend, I’m coming over.

And, I’m coming over to support, help, empathize and entertain. I’m not coming over to speculate, assess, criticize or mock.

Hey Friend, I’m coming over.

Please don’t freeze up. Please don’t clam up. Please just BE. Please allow me to do the same.

Hey Friend, I’m coming over.

So, get ready to answer your freakin’ door, and you better not be wearing anything other than leggings, a messy pony, yesterday’s make-up, compassion and grace.

And, you’ll know it’s me because, well, I’ll be rocking the same.

**This article was written by Nicole Merritt of JThreenme. See more from her at JThreenme.com or connect with her on Facebook

Nicole Merritt
Nicole Merritt
Nicole Merritt is a mother of three, a freelance writer, co-host of I Am The Worst Parent Ever Podcast and the Owner and Founder of jthreeNMe; an imperfectly authentic peek at real-life marriage, parenting, and self-improvement. jthreeNMe is raw, honest, empowering, inspiring, and entertaining; it’s like chicken soup for those that are exhausted, over-stressed and under-inebriated, yet still utterly happy. Nicole's work has been featured by NBC's TODAY Show, Love What Matters, Scary Mommy, The Good Men Project, Elephant Journal, CafeMom, Popsugar, Motherly & many others. You can follow Nicole at jthreeNMe.com and as @jthreeNMe on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram & Twitter!

Daughter Texts Mom “I’ll Be Home Soon” from Burger King Bathroom—20 Minutes Later, Her Worst Nightmare Comes True

"She's my only daughter, my best friend. She was supposed to start her new job today, now she's on life support.”

To the Stranger Who Gave My 3-Year-Old a Bracelet in the McDonald’s Bathroom

"You heard me tell her we had a long drive home and she needed to use the potty. You heard her tell me she was scared the toilet would flush while she was sitting on it."

Daughter’s “Pootergirl” Costume for Picture Day Goes Viral After She Rejects Dad’s Outfit Choices

"She walked up, looked over each of her choices, turned and said ‘POOTERGIRL!’ and well…I couldn’t argue with that answer...”