I walked towards the door after depositing a goodbye kiss on my husband’s lips, and I turned at his words.
“I’ll be praying for you,” he said.
I stood there smiling, wearing a long-sleeved shirt with my church’s logo, so that I might be more easily identifiable, and I replied to him.
I said softly, “This is way outside my wheelhouse, you know?”
“I know,” he replied. “Be careful.”
And as I waved farewell, walking to our truck, a phrase came into my mind.
God calls us to be uncomfortable.
Those words seemed to adequately describe my feelings as I cranked my vehicle and set the GPS towards a hospital I had never been to before. You see, despite my nervousness over the upcoming visit, I felt a deep desire to move forward. It’s as if my spirit and flesh were at odds, but my spirit was successfully leading this venture.
The previous week I had seen something on Facebook asking for prayers for a woman. We see stuff like that all the time, am I right? We’re quick to comment, “praying,” even if nine times out of ten we forget to actually intercede at all for the aforementioned individual. We keep on scrolling, or a child calls our name. Maybe the phone rings, the doorbell chimes, or a captivating commercial comes on the TV. Regardless, for whatever reason, we fall short of our intentions to pray. But that’s not what happened here.
No, instead I felt an immediate connection with this unknown, not even pictured woman, and I was quick to not only type a commitment to pray, yet also begin praying in faith right that moment. I felt a keen kinship with this hospitalized lady, and I wrote out what my heart believed. I shared that I had received miraculous healing from the same condition, and that I was believing the same healing for her.
Later that night at church they prayed for her again, and I felt so strongly that I needed to go and pray with her. I wanted to bring this up with my pastor, but I also wanted to let the thought go. See, I can be introverted in a lot of ways. I am not good at speaking with people I’ve never met (except when I’m at my patient’s bedside), and I also have a tendency to worry if I’m coming off as a complete and total moron. So, there’s that.
I thought about it all night after the service, but I held myself back from sharing my desire with anyone. It’s like I mentioned before, the spirit versus flesh. The fact was I felt like God was telling me to go see this woman and lay hands on her in a prayer of healing. Just like had been done for me. But the human side of me wanted to crawl back into my comfortable hole. Or at least go sit on my couch reading a good book. It’s also the part that tells me I’m not really hearing from God.
As we drove home my husband said suddenly (and out of nowhere), “you know, if you feel like you need to go see that woman and pray with her, I’ll watch the kids.”
Bless him. And there it was. I answered back quietly, “I do.”
I thought, how hard can it be to pray for a woman in a coma? At least she won’t think I’m a weirdo. But what about her family?
I decided to take the first step and contact my pastor and his wife to see if they thought it was a good idea, and to check with the family to see if they minded some stranger, kind of odd, middle aged woman showing up to place hands on their loved one. No, that’s not weird (insert sigh).
God calls us to be uncomfortable, though. So many of us desire to be used by God, but then we say “well, except for that, Lord.” I’m reminded of the part in the Bible where some men wanted to follow Jesus, and He was like, well, come on! But one guy had to go bury his family member. Another had to go tell his loved ones goodbye. It’s like, all these guys had excuses, and we can be that way too. We want to serve the Lord, but we also want to remain comfortable. I mean, we’ll go on a week long mission trip to a third world country, but how many of us would sell everything and stay if God asked us to? We’d most likely come up with some reason why that wasn’t plausible and couldn’t possibly be the Lord’s will for our lives. I’m convinced that God has so much in mind for our lives and His kingdom, but we’re too busy to hear Him or too attached to our own little comfortable world to let go and let Him lead us into the unknown. I realized I couldn’t let that happen with this situation.
With their schedule and my work schedule, it took a couple of days, and by the time I was able to go see her she was awake and talking. That caused me some mild anxiety, I ain’t gonna lie. When I caught myself on the way there rehearsing what I might say I stopped myself immediately.
I prayed, “Lord, I know man makes many plans, but it’s your direction that prevails. I’m not gonna rehearse this. I just want you to speak through me and work through me to bless this lady.”
I did allow myself to look her up on Facebook, so at least I wouldn’t barge in on some other total stranger, and I felt light and charged as I headed for the elevator. I won’t go into all the details of our visit, but it was wonderful. It was emotional, spiritually charged, and simply amazing. We all were blessed by the experience, and I felt like the Lord impressed to me that healing had taken place.
As I got back in my truck for the long ride home a song came on the radio. The chorus repeated a section of scripture that I had spoken as I prayed for this new friend and sister in Christ. I had not planned to speak that scripture ahead of time, but as I prayed it came out. And as the same words emitted from my radio speaker, I smiled. I felt like that was God’s way of telling me I had spoken with His spirit in me, not just my desires.
I suppose the whole point of me sharing this part of my life is to impart that when we can step out of our box and do something uncomfortable that God is asking us to do, He will bless the obedience. And I think it doesn’t just bless the one who steps out, but others as well. I believe He has so much glory He can manifest through us, but we must be willing to boldly and unabashedly walk where He leads. I did something outside my wheelhouse today, but I feel so blessed by it all. Where God guides, His Spirit proceeds, and His majesty extends beyond what we could ever imagine.